


Seeing Red

by heatofthetuesdaymoments



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood Kink, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Denial, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Bondage, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, My First Destiel Fanfic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Bondage, Serial Killer Castiel, Serial Killer Dean, Serial Killers, Sexual Content, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Victim Blaming, Victim Castiel, Violence, Weapons Kink, i hope these are enough tags, partners in crime, you're green with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:22:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3559358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatofthetuesdaymoments/pseuds/heatofthetuesdaymoments
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is a serial killer with a code. On one of his kills he finds the latest victim of his latest victim, Castiel Novak: bruised, bloodied, beaten, and god knows what else, Dean must now ask himself if he must hide his true face from this strange or if he has finally found what he's never had before: A partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! So this is my first Destiel fic and I'm really hoping this goes on. It's just a starter and I do not have a Beta writer so if you see any blemishes in my writing please feel free to message me. I hope you all in enjoy. Thank you!

When Dean Winchester was three, John had caught him with his hunting knife and the carcass of the neighbor’s cat. That week John took Dean hunting with him for the very first time, and Dean loved it.

For a while, the hunt was the only thing that made sense to Dean. And then Sam Winchester came into the world, and Dean had bigger responsibilities as a brother.

When Sam and Dean’s mother Mary was found dead under the highway murdered by a notorious serial killer, John lost all will to be a father to his children. Instead he took his interest in finding the person who did this. Sam and Dean were constantly on the road in the ’67 Chevy Impala that now had at least five different police scanners, and trunk load full of various weapons, fake I.Ds, and three duffel bags of clothing. Dean became mother and father to Sam: Making sure he was fed, getting him to bed on time, washing the very few clothes they had, and just being the only constant thing in Sam's life.

Whenever Dean felt that dark presence, he and his father had tried to snuff it out by going on their hunts.  Dean would go running around the block of whichever motel they were at.  He would do pull-ups from the doorframe in their rooms. He’d carry Sammy on his back, but mostly he cooked.  He made a series of strange mac ‘n’ cheese recipes. So far his favorite was a concoction of soy sauce and mustard.  It put a smile on Sam's face and goofier one on Dean's, knowing he could somehow keep the demon at bay and feeding Sammy at the same time.

When Dean was thirteen, his father woke him up in the dead of night after being gone for almost a month and told him they were going on a “hunting trip.”

That was night Dean had his first kill with the help of his father. The serial murderer Alastair Heyerdahl nicknamed ‘Hells’ Finest’, was the very one that had murdered his mother in cold blood. The demon that Dean had tried to snuff finally resurfaced. Death was now the only thing that made Dean feel human. John saw that and in the end, helped Dean with the darkness within him.

-

When John Winchester died it had been from natural causes, and Dean couldn’t honestly be happier about it, but also sad about it too.  He hoped his parents were now at peace, no longer lost in the dark.  He was grateful his dad went in his sleep due to a heart attack rather the cruel and bloody end his mother had met.

But it still didn't seem fair that his mother, who had been nothing but kind and sweet and everything good in the world died so violently.  While the bastard who was like a ghost in Sam and Dean's life (except when he need Dean to con some drunk guys out of a pool game or to track down another "lead") died in the comfort of his own bed.  Life just wasn't fair that way.  Dean knew this more than most.

Dean is now twenty-six with at least two dozen deaths under his belt. Sammy was twenty-one in Stanford on a full-ride.

All of Dean’s victims had, had a darkness inside of them just like Dean, but Dean’s helped him hunt down and punish the wicked.  While Sam was off in California becoming a lawyer, Dean worked at the local bar in Sioux Falls called The Roadhouse. Its run by Ellen Harvelle, kind of the Den Mother of Sioux Falls and Bobby Singer’s old lady. Bobby Singer who has been like a surrogate father to the boys since Mary’s death,  use to be John Winchester's hunting buddy.  Sometimes they stayed at Bobby’s while their dad went looking for the late Alastair. Bobby taught Dean everything he needed to know about cars and hunting and surviving the out doors, while Ellen taught Dean how to cook proper meals.

 Now Dean was busing tables, pouring beers, and acting as security if anyone got out of hand.  Most of the time he worked with Jo Harvelle, surrogate little sister to the Winchesters and daughter of Ellen.  Being at the bar meant he could stake out his prey without really having to pay attention to his work.  And it never rose questions about his after hours activities.  He handled shipments for Ellen and overnight stalking.  

Tonight however is different.  Its a night for hunting, Dean had been tracking the deaths of men and women found in abandoned warehouses or homes.  All strategically placed in the center of the building.  Their hands placed spread out as their lifeless bodies lied on the ground.  Officers in each state stated the victims looked like angels, " _It was like someone has strunk an angel down, they made something so horrible look so innocent._ " a detective Jody Mills had stated.  The officers did not tell the media this, but Dean had found out that all victims had been securely abused and violently beaten.  Each body had severe looking scars and bruises, except for the face.  Dean looks over the files he snagged while playing FBI, and studied each victim.  They were all in their late twenties, all attractive.  Blemish free skin, bright smiles, photogenic.  Whoever was hunting these people, chose them out of vanity.

And now Dean was going to hunt them.

He had been following the man named Gordon for a while now.  Gordon lived by himself.  His family lived in New Orleans.  He worked as a one of the members on the road crew, and frequented Ellen's bar more so than his job sites.  Jo informed Dean that Gordon had lost his sister, and that they had been very close.  Dean would have been sorry for the guy if he had not found out that it was Gordon who actually killed his own sister in a fit of blind rage.

Dean had never considered himself as the brainy type but he was quite the charmer.  He used his mojo on both sexes to get what he want.  Its how he got away with the whole FBI getup.

Dean had almost snagged Gordon in Illinois, but lost him when Gordon seemed to get the sense that someone was following him.  Dean never interacted with his prey.  Not until the final part.  Dean loved watching the life leave their eyes.  Watch as what little of a soul that they had left was taken by his own hands.  Dean learned a long time ago that burying a body in a fresh grave was one of the best ways to dispose of it.  No one would suspect it and he had not been caught yet.

Sam has no idea what Dean does.  To Sammy, Dean is the best big brother anyone could ask for, and he's right.  Dean loves Sammy and would never cause him any harm.  But Dean knows that Sam would never be able to truly see the demon within Dean.

Dean sits restlessly in his Impala covered by its pitch-black coat of paint and the night, Dean waits for Gordon to get home.  He lives alone in this two-story house he had inherited from a dead relative which made it hard for Dean to track.  Sam would have probably found him in a heartbeat.  Sammy was just smart like that.  Dean is just about to give up when he hears the low rumble of Gordon's '78 red, rusting El Camino.  If there's one thingthing Dean hats more than sick bastards, its sick bastard who do not know how to treat a mechanical, piece of beauty.  He absentmindedly strokes the dashboard of his Baby.

"I'll never treat you like that." He whispers, his voice low and grave.

His spring green eyes watch Gordon walk to his home, staggering a bit as he walls up the stairs.  He begins to look for his keys and Dean quietly gets out of his Impala and silently walks up behind him.  A dirty rag covers his mouth and nostrils.  Gordon slumps to the floor, but Dean manages to hold the guys weight.

Gordon lives on the outskirts of town, meaning no neighbours for miles.  It's the perfect spot for a kill.  Little does Dean know that Gordon does not exactly live alone.

-

Castiel uses his one good eye to see if it's night or day.  There's no clock in this room.  No one would ever really have a clock in their attic unless it was being stored.  But this had long since ceased to be an attic.  It was not his prison.  His death sentence.  Castiel Novak knew he was going to die.  Knew that whoever they were, they would get tired of playing their games with him.  As he tries to lift his broken body from the awkward sleeping position he was lying in just a few short second ago, he knows that his days here are numbered.  

Castiel soon realises that they're back.  He hears loud shuffling movements, much heavier than usual.  He must be very drunk, which means Castiel will be this man's plaything for the night.

Castiel doesn't ever get to see who his captor is.  Whenever he is awake in their presence he is blindfolded, only the animalistic grunts or sexual activity let's him know if they're female or male.  Castiel doesn't want to see their faces, but he's pretty sure that the person who lives here is a man.  Castiel feels the weight of the shackles bound to his wrist, and wishes he could at least scratch the itch on his back.  

Sure he's a little banged up but nothing time won't heal.

Castiel let's out a weak chuckle.  Time.  Like he actually has time. 

He feels his vision blur and is surprised when he feels the first droplet hit his chest.  Hell never see his family again.  Never bake sweets for Gabriel.  Never lose at chess again with Balthazar, because let's face it that bastard is just too good at chess.  His heart drops when he thinks if his sister Anna.  Anna just started her senior year of high school.  More tears fall on to his chest, he's crying harder now.  His body is convulsing with each sob.  He knows no one will hear him.  Not up here.  He cries and cries, knowing he's out of time.  That he'll never see Anna graduate.  He'll never get his life back.  All because some sick fucking strangers decided he was worthy of their sick, twisted games.

He stops crying, and just continues to sniffle.  Too wrapped up in his deriding thoughts, he doesn't notice the heavy footsteps or the ' _T_ _hump!  Thump!  Thump!'_ after each footstep.  

_"W-who are you?"_

Castiel stops sniffling.  It sounds like one of the men who lives here, the one who holds him down as he violates Castiel.  Castiel's stomach gores in knots. 

" _Gordan Walker._ " Says a gruff voice.

It's not a voice Castiel remembers hearing before.  What if its a newperson?  However,  _Gordon Walker_ did ask who this person was.

Perhaps it is his saviour, maybe its the police.  Whatever or whoever this person is, this Gordan person is afraid and that makes Castiel hopeful.

" _You've been a bad boy."_ Says the voice.

 _"Fuck you! "_ Gordan yells.

The voice chuckles.  For one Castiel is not so fearful of the unknown.  For once he feels the will to live.  He looks frantically around for anything he could find.  Thankfully he sees a nail sticking out from the floorboard.  He knows he's only got one shot at this, so he lays his left hand flat on the ground and raises the heavy right shackle over his head and drops it right over his hand, breaking the thumb, the index and middle finger.

Letting out a small hiss, his limp hand slides through the shackle and frees it from his grip. He streches his body and grasps at the nail before getting ad much of a firm grasp as he'll get using a broken hand.  When he finally pulls it from the floorboard his chest swells with pride.  He then fumbles with the keyhole by using the old nail.

"C'mon Cassie." Castiel tells himself.

His mouth feels raw and dry.  His lips are extremely chapped, and hurt when he moves them.  He's almost free.  He can feel the shackle loosen.

' _Clank!'_

The shackle falls off his skinny wrist.  Castiel seems catatonic.  His plan worked.  For once things actually worked in his favour.

Castiel braces both hands against the rough, wooden wall behind him, and slowly pushes himself up from the floor.  The stairs to the second floor are just a few feet away, but it feels longer to Castiel's body.  He's surprised he can manage to walk on his gangly limb.  He doesn't remember the last time he was fed.  As he stumbles closer to stairs his mind starts running with all kinds of questions.

Will this person help me?

Will I be able to finally go home?

Is this a trap?

The last one stops him from placing his for down in the first floorboard.  This could very well trap.  After all these monsters like to play their games.  Gordan had sounded so afraid though.  So maybe there was light at the end of this tunnel.  Castiel would just have to take a leap of faith, and hope he knew what he was doing.

The first step down the stairs was the hardest.  Castiel manages the rest of the way down by leading his body against the wooden wall.  As he descends Gordan's voice and the strangers become more clear.

" _Why are you doing this man?"_  Gordan asks the stranger.

Castiel can sense fear in his voice.  The same fear that was in Castiel's voice whenever he begged for their mercy and it sends a delicious shiver down his spine.

" _Because you're a monster._ "  The gruff voice replies.

" _So what does that make you?"_ Gordan asks the stranger.

" _It makes me a fixing princess."_ The voice replies.

Castiel can pin point the voices coming from a room down the hall.  The door is ajar which either means this person is crazy enough not to care or doesn't know Castiel is here.  He tiptoes toward the door way and begins to crawl on all fours so he can see just who exactly is his saviour.  If he is one.

Gordan let's out a harsh gasp.  Castiel wonders what's going on.  As he makes it to the door he slowly rises from where he was positioned.  Using the work doorframe as support.

Inside he sees Gordan Walker tied to a chair with plastic covering the for.  His naked body like a cover in the same plastic but it's draped over him like they do with people at a barber shop.

Castiel instantly knows that this man, whoever he is, is just as dangerous as his captor.

"Twelve people you've killed Gordon."

Castiel darts his brilliant blue eyes to the far corner of the room.  A man, no older than he with a strong build and bowlegs, clad in dark, denim and a black long sleeve shirt walls from his corner of the room and begins to circle around Gordan like a predator would his prey.

He's got short dirty blond hair, tan skin, freckles that probably cover his shoulders too, and from what Castiel can tell with his poor vision is a grin that probably makes his eyes crinkle.  He's handsome too day the least, but then again so was the Devil.

Castiel sees something flash in the light.  His stomach does a flip.  That has to be the biggest knife he's ever seen.

"You'll never get away with this." Gordan spits, he actually smiles at the stranger.

"Is that so?" The stranger asks mockingly.

Gordan chuckles, "This is a lot bigger than just you and me you piece of shit, this is a lot bigger than our entire existence."

"Sure it is buddy, but that still ain't gonna stop me from stabbing you." The stranger says, and just like that plunges his knife deep into Gordan's chest.

-

This was the best part about what he did.  Watching as his victims let out their last breath as their head slowly sank.  Their life leaving their eyes.  It made Dean fell content. 

One less monster in the world.

Just as he's about to let go off the knife, he hears short gasp and then the sound of someone falling on to the floor.

In two strides Dean is at the door, he swings it open is sees a body slumped onto the floor.

"Shit!" Dean hisses as he kneels down onto the ground and examines the body.

Its male and naked and badly nourished.  Not too mention could with a long, scalding hot shower.  Could this be another victim of Gordan's? How had Dean not known he was there?

He turns the guy over and averts his eyes from the guys junk. Dean logs down at the guy's face and his chest tightens when he sees the black and blue brusies all long his abdomen.  Gash makes are up and down his thighs and it appears that one if his hands is broken from how fast it's starting to swell.  Definitely a victim.

Dean starts to gently part the guys scruffy cheeks.

"Hey, hey buddy rise and shine, can you open your eyes for me?" He calls out to the unconscious man.

The darkdark eye lashes of the naked man begun to slowly flutter.  Dean's gemstone green eyes are meet with the most beautiful, brilliant blue eyes he had ever seen.

"H-hhelp... me." The man calls out.

Dean looks behind him to the fresh corpse of Gordan Walker.  A small pool of blood begins to form at the base of Gordan's chair but Dean doesn't writer about it too much.  Not when he's got this person here who needs his help.

"Can you hear me man? What's your name?" He asks the now barely conscious man.

"Castiel." The man replies back.

Dean just now notices just how bad his lips are chaired, how long had this man been here? 

"Cas huh? Don't worry man I got you." Dean says.

Dean sees a red smudge on the man's forehead.  The guy must of hot his head when he made contact with the floor.

"Is he dead?" Castiel asks, his voice grave and monotone.

Dean nods, he notices one eye is badly bruised.  A small voice in the back of his head is sending off alarms.

Dean had one very important rule: Don't get caught.  And now he's here cradling the head of a handsome, baked man, while another named man is dead in the rim right behind him.

The man chuckles, looking up at Dean, "So beautiful." He whispers before closing his eyes again and falling back into unconsciousness.

-

Bobby's house is empty, which means he's probably at Ellen's right now.  Good.  Dean didn't need to have to explain to Bobby why he had a naked man in his flannel draped over his shoulder.

The man's still unconscious but breathing normally which Dean takes as a good sign.  He carries the man up to the bathroom and places him gently on the cool tile floor.  The bath mat is under his head like a makeshift pillow.  Dean knows he should have taken him to the police, but couldn't risk the chance if him remembering.  So instead, he thought he'd take him home first and get him all patched up.  No one would find Gordan, he was well under six feet by now in several different places.

The strange stirs in his sleep and Dean starts the running hot water.  He kneels to the ground and tries to gently pull the flannel off the fatally wounded man.  Its a miracle he survived this much abuse.  He can only imagine how much this guy suffered.  Siere Dean killed people, but he never prolonged the pain.  He was never that cruel.

"Hey Cas." Dean calls out to the man, alreadying establishing a nickname for him.

"Mmm." Is Castiel's only reply.

Dean sighs and tries to gently shake the man awake, "Hey Cas c'mon man, let's get you in the shower."

"No shower.  Can't stand." Castiel murmurs.

Dean huffs.  Cas is right.  He barely made it down from the attic.  Dean had found where they were keeping Cas, where they probably kept all their victims.  Dean nods at Cas, but the dark-haired man is unconscious yet again. 

Dean runs his hands down his face before he wraps his arms around Cas's waist and shoulders lifting him up bridal style.  He places Castiel gently into the steaming water.  Castiel groans.

"Too hot?" Dean asks.

"Feels... good." Castiel replies.

A small smile spreads across Castiel's tired face, and it brings a strange comfort to Dean.

He bathes the man, tending to his cuts carefully.  He's positive Bobby's got some first aid supplies somewhere.  Guy practically lives like the apocalypse is about to start.  Once Castiel has been tended to, Dean once again picks him bridal style this time wrapping him in a fresh towel.

"It's gonna be okay Cas, you're gonna be okay." Dean says, his voice soft and soothing.

There's a lot of things Dean cannot resist: Sammy, children, pie, and innocent people getting hurt.  Gordan killed all different types of the people, the only common factor was how good of a person they were and their attractiveness.  

Dean takes Castiel to his room, which had the bigger bed.  He places Castiel's limp form on the bed, making sure his head is resting on the pillow.  Castiel's hair is a little damp when Dean runs his hands through his hair, bit it doesn't bug the hunter.  Dean grabs a pair of boxers and a clean shirt from his dresser and begins to dress Castiel.

Once he's satisfied with his task he walks over to a beat up lazy boy, and grabs the blanket from its armrest.  He goes back to the bed and drapes it over Castiel.

"Thank you." Castiel says, his eyes are barely open, he'll probably fall backsleep, but is a comfort for Dean to know that Castiel wake up. 

Dean smiles, taking a seat at the edge of themattress, "No problem man." 

"I thought I was gonna die there." Castiel says.

Dean's chest tightens again, "I wouldn't allow that."

Castiel smiles again, "You're my hero." He replies.

Dean chuckles, "Let me get some grub in you first then you can call me your hero, but for now you should sleep, you deserve it." 

Dean is about to get up from the bed, when a skinny hand clamps around his wrist.

"Please stay." Castiel murmurs.

Dean stays frozen for a second.  Apart from one night stands he's never been intimate like this.  But it's just cuddling, is what Dean tells himself.  So he crawls over Castiel's body who still somehow has a grip on his wrist and settles in next to the dark-haired man, wrapping a protective arm around him.

Castiel quickly falls back to sleep.

Dean begins to wonder.  Castiel is not afraid, nor has he pushed Dean away.  Instead he's Cushing with him on the bed right now.  Could this be something Dean never thought was possible?

Could he be friends with man who has a strange name?

He should be thinking about what's gonna happen when day breaks.  But instead his eyelids begin to drop and soon both men are snoring softly on the bed.  Unaware of what fate has yet to hand them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to thank everyone on Destiel Forever who encouraged me to post this chapter and my friend Sar. You da best!


	2. Hey You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the middle of murdering Gordan Walker, Dean finds one of his victims. A man named Castiel. After one very long night, Castiel wakes up warm, clean, and somewhere unknown. All Castiel knows is that his captor is dead, but this is not over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all the positive feedback! Its really helps motivate me to right more. I've been working to write this one I really have, but work and school have taken up most of my time so I thank you for your patience. Just a warning this one is pretty lengthy and there's lots of dialogue. Thanks :)

Castiel wakes up with the sunlight in his eyes. Castiel freezes in his place. There is sunlight coming through a window to a bedroom that is not his own. Its old but homey. He groans as he sits up in bed, a quilted blanket falls from his chest. He examines the faded black AC/DC shirt that he's currently dressed in, and then down to the soft blue boxers. He runs his hand through his soft, black hair and realises that it no longer sticks to his head due to sweat, and blood, and who else knows what. He notices bandages are wrapped around his thighs.

Someone took a lot of care to clean him up, to mend his wounds, to dress him, and even make sure he was comfy in the queen sized bed.

But where are they?

Castiel hesitantly gets up from the bed.  For all he knows, this could be the exact same house.  Maybe its another one of their games.  Castiel shakes his head as he walks around the bedroom.  No that can't be right.  Castiel saw Gordan die with his own eyes.  He had gotten free.  He had to.  There was no way that this was just another game.

Canvassing the room, his anxiety lessens.  It looks be the bedroom of a teenager.  Posters of 80s rock bands and vintage cars cover majority of the faded forest green walls.  Castiel skims through the book shelf that contains a collection of  Vonnegut and Aldus Huxley's ' _Brave New World',_ a few Batman comic books, a Watchmen graphic novel and a few DVDs, some like  _Top Gun, Coolhand Luke, 12 Angry Men, The Good The Bad and the Ugly,_ and to his surprise  _Julie & Julia._  


Castiel smirks.  No, this was not the house of Gordan Walker.  This belongs to someone who raised a family.  Someone who cherishes the privacy of their bedroom.  Who feels safe in their familiar surroundings.  Someone like Castiel.

As he nears toward the bedroom door he gets a whiff of something delicious.  The aroma of bacon makes his stomach create a sound that sounds like a dying whale.  Before Castiel's mind can catch up with his body, his hand pulls the door while his legs carry him down stairs.

He enters a messy den filled with all kinds of strange books.  An antique looking desk that has empty beer cans and coffee cups on it as well as more strange looking books are on his left.  A cot is laid out right next to the desk positioned under a giant bay window, more books and a ratty looking blanket are on top of it.

_'Hey you, out there in the cold_

_Getting lonely, Getting old_

_Can you feel me?'_

Castiel turns his attention from the den to two giant, wooden doors that are closed.  The smell of breakfast pulls Castiel toward the doors and the music.  Castiel tugs one door and slowly slides it open.

_'Hey you, out there on your own_

_Sitting naked by the phone_

_Would you touch me?_

Castiel looks into a retro looking kitchen.  On the breakfast table is a platter of pancakes, a jug of Orange Juice, fresh fruit, another platter of biscuits, and two plates.

On the right there's a record player with music coming out of it.  The song is haunting, yet beautiful.  Something Castiel never has never heard before. 

And in the middle dressed in nothing but flannel pajama bottoms is the handsome man from his dreams.  The one he dreamt rescued him.  The one he saw stab Gordan.

Castiel's eye scan the slightly taller male's bare back.  Freckles scatter over the back of neck and his shoulders.  Castiel finds himself trying to count all of them, but its hopeless, for every time he tries, he loses track of which freckle he has already counted.

"As you can see no matter how hard he tried, he could not break free-"

"Hello?" Castiel calls out.

The man turns around and Castiel's blood turns cold.  Standing shirtless, toned and tanned is the man from last night.  The one who stabbed Gordan.  And now here he is, in draw string pajamas, shirtless and cooking bacon.

"Hey stranger!" The man hollers over the music.  

He places the pan of bacon down on the stove and turns it off before heading to the vinyl player.  He lowers the volume and smiles at Castiel as he gives him his full attention.

"How'd you sleep?" The man asks him.

"F-fine." Castiel replies.

The man squints his eyes at him, "You alright man?" He asks him.

Castiel feels a lump in his throat, "Did... did last night really happen?" He asks the green-eyed man.

The guy sighs, placing his spatula on the counter.

"I would have liked to discuss this after breakfast, but if you pushing for answers now-"

"I just... I need to know if that man is really, truly dead." Castiel states.

The man in front of Castiel sighs, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.  It makes Castiel sweat a bit, but not in a bad way.  Castiel tries not to oogle at his host, but it's really hard not too.

The guy definitely works out, but he's not jacked.  He's fit but there's still a little bit of tummy to his nice physique which explains the delicious food placed at the wooden table next to him.

"Hey Cas, you in there?"

Castiel stops drooling over the dirty blond man.  He can feel blush beginning to creep on his cheeks.  He averts his gaze from the man in front of him, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." He murmurs.

The man smiles, and Castiel can't help but smile back.  How could he not, with a smile as stunning and contagious as the one this handsome strange has.

_'Cassie c'mon, quit flirting and get some answers'_

Castiel shakes his head.  His facial expression turns from easy to serious.  The man gets the hint and gestures toward the table where breakfast had been prepared.  Castiel takes the seat opposite of the man, and let's his host cater to him.  The man is quick in his movements, but not threatening.  More like a father trying to rush his children to eat without it being a big deal.  For all Castiel knows he could have children.  Hell he could even be married.  

"I hope you like bacon." His host says placing three, giant bacon strips onto Castiel's plate, and then two pancakes, two fried eggs, and finally hands him a bottle of syrup.

Castiel smirks and the host doesn't hesitate to comment on it.

"Something funny?" He asks Castiel.

"Everything else is homemade, strange your syrup is so... generic." Castiel comments, his blue eyes met the strangers green ones and hope he hasn't insulted the cook.

A playful smile spreads across the freckle man's face as he serves himself, "Well I'm not no Barefoot Contessa, but I try and buying syrup is a lot easier than trying to make your own, especially when we're scarce of maple tress." He remark.

Those gemstone eyes flick from Castiel's face to his place, "Please eat, you must be starving." He says before digging into his own breakfast.

Castiel looks down at his full plate and hears his stomach growl.  Who knows how long it's been since Castiel's had real food.  But as he looks at his skinny wrist he knows that there's no use waiting and begins his breakfast with fluffy pancakes.

Food had never tasted as good as it does right now.  Castiel practically devours his breakfast in one breath.  Letting out loud, low moans as he bites into a bacon strip and mixes it with his eggs.  The stranger's eyes seem fixated on Castiel.  He shifts a little in his seat, but never do his eyes leave Castiel's as he watches him eat.  Castiel stabs his fork into the fluffy, syrup-soaked pancake and takes a bite, savoring every bit of its sweetness.  Another moan escapes his mouth.

"Do you want me to leave you and the pancakes alone?" The man asks Castiel.

Castiel can't help the smile that spreads across his face, "This is mighty delicious." He says.

The man smirks, "It's only breakfast."

"It's the best breakfast I've ever had!" Castiel exclaims.

The man chuckles.  He shakes his head, but continues to eat in silence.  He occasionally looks up from his plate to look at Castiel who is still enjoying his breakfast, and smiles when Castiel finishes his pancakes only to take three more from the platter in front of him.

"So what kind of name is _K_ _ah-Stee-El_ anyways?" The man asks him after a while.

Castiel looks up from his plate, his true blue eyes watching the man's movements.  He's green eyes stare back at Castiel's.  His expression is sincere.  Someone really wants to know who the heck Castiel Novak is.

Castiel swallows his bite of pancake before replying, "I don't think I ever got your name." He remarks, before taking a sip of his orange juice.

"I'm Dean. Dean Winchester." The man replies.

Castiel smirks, mouth full of pancakes, "Like the rifle?" He asks  _Dean._

Dean smiles and its the most beautiful smile Castiel has seen in a really long time.  It's warm, and genuine.  Nothing sinister lies behind that smile.

"Yeah just like the rifle." He replies.

Castiel smiles back, "Castiel is an old biblical name. All my family have their names from the Bible." He replies.

Dean smiles wider, "Seriously?" 

"Seriously." Castiel replies.

-

Dean clears his throat.  Castiel looks up from his plate.  Dean can't get over how blue the dude's eyes are.  It's like his eye color was plucked from the sky.

"So, you had a question for me." Dean states.

Castiel nods in silence.

"I did kill Gordan Walker last night." Dean says.

He's waiting for Castiel to do something; Cry or yell or freak out in someway.  When Cas first appeared behind Dean, he looked like a malnourished child in one of those television ads that ask you to donate  _"Just ten cents a day..."_ Dean notes that he's still skinny, but at least he has an appetite.  He's glad Cas likes his cooking.  Sammy always loved his cooking.  No matter how strange it looked or weird it sounded, Sammy swallowed it like a vacuum.  Dean's heart feels like it's being pulled just thinking about Sammy.  He wonders if he has friends.  Or if he's eating right.  Or if he finally asked that girl Jessica out.  He wishes he could see his brother twenty-four seven, just like the old times.  But in truth, Dean would probably have a harder time finding his next victim.  He always wondered if Sam had the same demon in him.  Wondered if Dad ever took him on any "hunting" trips, but that probably never happened.  The only dark entity in this family was Dean's demon, and only Dean knew how to control it.

"Do you space out a lot like that?" 

"Huh?" Dean says, batting his eyelashes as Cas's voice brings him back to Bobby's kitchen.

Cas smiles, "I asked you what was going to happen to me like five times."

"I'm sorry." Dean says, running a hand down his face.

"It's alright." Cas says, going back to his breakfast.

"Can I ask you a question?" Dean asks the dark-haired man.

Cas nods again, this time chewing a pancake at the same time.

"How long were you up there?" He asks Cas.

Castiel's nostrils flare, but he doesn't deter from the question, "To be honest, I have no idea, it's feels like forty years have passed." He says.

Dean sighs and runs his hands down his face.  He's never had to deal with the victim of his victims before.  Usually when he killed, that was the end of the evil that ensued.  Cas was different though.  He may look like skin and bones, but he still made it out of that perdition, and Dean just happen to be the one to pull him out.

"Thank you." Castiel says, breaking Dean from his thoughts again.

"Anytime." Dean replies, he leans in and pats Cas on the shoulder.

"So... do you normally do, ya know-"

"Do I slice and dice people on the regular?" Dean replies.

Castiel doesn't say anything. 

"Not regularly, but Sioux Falls seems to have an irregular string of scum." Dean comments.

"Gordan was not the only one." Cas says.

His blue eyes meet Dean's green ones.  A lump forms in Dean's throat.  He feels his fist clench around his fork.

"What." 

Cas sighs.  Running his hands down his face, he looks at Dean again.  Dean can see how hard he's trying to keep cool.  Talking about this cannot be easy.

"Gordan did keep me hostage, and yes he... did things, but he wasn't the only one." Cas tells Dean.

"Cas, I- I had no... fuck I should have looked into this more." Dean says, suddenly going quiet.

Dean is startled when Cas's warm bony hand rests on top of Dean's forearm.

"Dean, you've done more for me then I could imagine, you got rid of one monster." 

"I should find them all though," Dean snarls, "you have no idea... the things they did to the other people, the things they were going to do to you." Dean looks up at Cas.

For the first time in a long time, Dean feels helpless.  Castiel squeezes Dean's arm, and to Dean's surprise he places his hand on top of the other's.

"Cas, how are you so calm?" Dean asks Cas.

Cas shrugs, "I'm actually not sure I've fully established my feelings toward everything." Cas says, his blue eyes glancing around the kitchen.

"Why?"

"I thought I was going to die." Cas replies.

If Dean's chest could tighten any more, he's pretty sure he would be swallowed by it.  Dean can't believe that someone like Cas could ever give up hope, but given the circumstances he'd be surprised if  _he'd_ want to live too.

"We'll find them Cas."

"Dean please, you don't have to."

"Cas, you- it's- its not that simple." Dean replies.

"Well Dean, taking a life is never easy." Cas says.

Dean tongues his cheek, not really sure how to respond.

_'Do I tell him I actually kill people for a living, or do I act like this is a first time thing?'_

"Dean, are you alright? " 

Dean looks up into those brilliant blue eyes.  How could he lie to someone whose probably been lied to this whole time.

"Its not the killing part that bothers me." Dean says, shifting his eyes down to his lap.

Cas's arm still rests gently on Dean's forearm, and for once Dean doesn't feel like he's a parasite.

"I... I kill people." Dean says, immediately wishing he hadn't said a word.

Cas licks his chapped lips, and Dean has to remind himself not to stare, especially at that pink tongue of his, "How many?" Cas asks.

Dean tries to get some words out at first, but can't seem to grasp how calm Cas is, "Urm, I don't really know, but they're all bad people I promise." Dean states.

Cas arches his eyebrow at him, "How can you tell?" He asks him.

"I research them... I have a code, and it's a code I've kept up with since I first started and I've never, _ever_ broken that code." Dean says, his voice going very serious.

Dean notes that Cas's hand is still on his forearm.  It's like a reassurance that what he's saying is okay, that he can continue.  It brings Dean this sort of enlightenment it never grasped before.

"When was your first kill?" Cas asks him.

"I was thirteen." Dean replies.

 _"Thirteen?"_  

"It was the man that murdered my mother." Dean replies.

Cas tightens his grip on Dean's forearm.

"I'm so sorry." Cas says.

"The fucker got a lot less than he deserved in my opinion." Dean replies.

"Who was he?" Cas asks him.

"His name was Alastair Heyerdahl, sonofabitch was a monster," Dean says, venom in his voice, and still Cas holds on to his arm, "we're the same Alastair and I, but at the same time we're completely different."

"You're not a monster." Cas says.

He rests his other hand on Dean's shoulder and without Dean knowing, Dean sort of rests his cheek on the hand and sighs deeply.

"I kill people."

"You kill  _monsters._ " Cas emphasises. _  
_

Dean sighs again, but remains quiet 

"Dean, look at me, seriously look at me."

Dean doesn't know if he can handle all that blue right now, but he obeys letting his green gemstone eyes wander over to Cas's sky blue ones.

"Gordan and those people were the monsters," Cas says, "I would not be talking to you, I would definitely not be eating your delicious food if I had the inkling that you were evil, because I've been in the presence of evil and even then I somehow survived."

"Damn." Dean rubs his cheek and shakes his head.

"Why the profanity?" Cas asks Dean.

Dean can't help but smile.  It feels wrong to, especially after Cas gave Dean some insight on what went on in there.  Yet here Cas is, talking to him, having breakfast with him.  Jesus, maybe this could be the best relationship Dean could ever have.

 _'Relationship?'_ Quips a rather annoying voice that sounds a lot like Sammy's

Well, Dean can't deny he's attracted to the dude.  He got half hard when Cas was making those sinful moans and groans, and that was just from eating Dean's food.  However, he wonders if this angel would ever feel the same way.  Because let's be honest, Cas really did look like what Dean would depict as Godlike.  And mom had always said God made people in his form, even the angels.

So what would that make Dean?

"You're doing it again."

"Sorry?" Dean asks.

Cas smiles, and honestly its the best damn thing he's ever seen.

"You go off somewhere in that head of yours a lot huh?" Cas asks him.

Dean shrugs, "I guess so."

Cas smirks, "Dean I want to thank you for saving me." He says.

Dean blushes, "If you hadn't fallen over I might not have known you were there, so you should really be thanking yourself for getting down from there." Dean says, eyeing the bandage hand with the splits on two fingers.

"You're fucking hardcore man." Dean adds, slapping Cas on the shoulder.

"To be fair, it was your big mouth that motivated me to move." Cas says, eyeing the bandaged hand as well.

Dean is about to say something when the two young men hears a slam of a door.

 _'_ _Shit, you didn't tell Bobby!'_

Dean scrambles to get up.  Bobby is already in the den.  Bobby stops when he sees Dean shirtless, and then his eyes focus on Cas in the back... who is wearing Dean's clothes.

"Morning." Bobby says.

"Hey Bobby, this is Cas." Dean says.

Cas gets up from his seat and walks over to Bobby awkwardly since he's as skinny as a twig, "Actually its Castiel, but Dean likes to call me Cas." He says, extending his hand out to Bobby.

Dean is practically holding his breath.  He finally let's go when Bobby accepts Cas's handshake.

"You didn't mention you'd be having a guest." Bobby says, looking at Dean.

"Sorry sir, it was a spur of the moment thing." Dean says scratching the back of his head.

 Bobby rolls his eyes, "Don't sir me, it's fine. Castiel it's nice to meet you, please go back and enjoy your breakfast. Dean a word."

Cas nods and does as he's told, same as Dean.  He heads to the front area of the house with Bobby.

"Okay, who is he and why is he wearing your clothes?" Bobby immediately asks.

Dean sort of hates being asked these questions.  Bobby and Ellen act like they're his parents when they're not, but Dean's sorta glad he and Sammy can rely on them.  He loves them and Joe and Ash, but if they ever found out what he was, they'd throw him into the nut house or to the wolves.

So Dean lies.

"He's an old buddy from high school, he's kind of on the mend from a very rocky bender." Dean explains.

Bobby huffs, "I'll say, boy sure looks like he could use a couple of burgers." Bobby comments.

"He's been through a lot Bobby, but he's a good guy I promise.' Dean says.

Bobby scratches his head, " Wel if he's any friend of  _yours_ then I guess he's okay. "

A very happy smile spreads across Dean's face.  Bobby chuckles and rolls his eyes.

"Thanks Bobby, I know I owe you one." Dean says.

Bobby just shakes his head, "Just nothing weird okay?"

"Weird?" Dean asks.

"Ya know, no drugs, no weird cult stuff, you just .. I don't know take him out for a beer or something." Bobby suggests, taking cap off only to put it back on."

Dean laughs "Okay Bobby, no weird shit."

Bobby pats him on the shoulder before heading toward the stairs, "I'm just picking up a few things before heading to the garage, you working tonight?" Bobby asks him.

"Just an over nighter tonight." Dean replies.

"Don't work yourself too hard boy " Bobby  replies.

The older man walks upstairs and when Dean is sure he hears his door close, Dean hurries back to Cas.

Cas is still sitting in his seat when Dean gets back.  Everything looks normal until Dean sees that Cas's face is wet, and he's shaking all over.

"Hey man," Dean says taking a knee by Cas's chair, "you're okay, you're safe "

Cas shakes his head, "I'm sorry Dean, I think I'm finally realising what just happened to me."

"I know, hey, it's okay, you can cry." Dean says, rubbing the man's back in slow, smoothing circles.

"I shouldn't be alive." Cas says, "do you understand that, I should not be here with you. "

"But you are Cas," Dean replies, his voice soft and soothing as well, "and it is a miracle your survived, but that's only because you chose to live and fight."

"And someone else just happen to be there." Cas adds.

Dean shakes his head, "I didn't get you out of your shackles, I didn't walk down those steps or to that door."

Cas nods in silence.  He sniffles a bit, and a tear or two fall down his cheeks.  Dean instinctively wipes them away.

"I talked to Bobby," Dean says, hoping that the subject change will calm him down, "and he said it's alright if you stay, we have a spare room because of Gigantor my brother and we can get you some clothes later today if you want "

Cas nods again.

"Cas man, everything's going to be okay I promise." Dean says.

Cas sniffles, he finally raises his gaze to Dean's and nods silently. 

Dean sighs, wiping more tears away as they roll down Cas's cheeks. 

"What did Bobby say?" Cas asks, his voice sounds raw and throaty.

"He says you're welcome to stay here as long as possible." Dean replies.

"Really?" 

"Scout's honour." Dean says, holding up three fingers in the air.

Cas chuckles, "Dean that's the Girl Scouts not the Boy Scouts of America."

Dean smirks, "Damn thought I had you fooled." 

Cas rolls his eyes, "Well, I appreciate everything you're doing for me, I know I may possibly be putting you at risk."

"At risk for what, no one knows Walker is missing and no one knows where to find him." Dean replies.

"But what if... what if those people see me, what if they recognise me and follow us back here." Cas asks, fear slowly crashing back into those beautiful blue eyes.

"Cas I'm never going to let them hurt you, I promise you're safe here with me." Dean says.

Cas bites his lower lip, and Dean can't deny yet again how hot it is. 

_'Dammit Dean, stop thinking with your dick.'_

Dean clears his throat and raises from where he's kneeling.

"Are you full?" He asks Cas.

"I believe so." Cas replies looking at his now empty plate.

A warm smile spreads across his face, "C'mon you can help me wash dishes and then we'll go get you some clothes." He says, grabbing Cas's plates and stacking them as a waiter would do.

Cas brings the two glasses and the silverware.  The two stand by sink. Dean washes and Cas dries.  Its strange how in sync they are, but Dean welcome it.  It's been a while since Dean's had someone do dishes with him.

Dean notices the small smile on Cas's face and can't help but smile himself.  Despite their dark encounter, Dean feels like something good can come from this.

Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a long one with lots of dialogue but trying to fit it in two chapters just didn't feel right. So thank you for bearing with me. I appreciate it. Feel free to leave kudos or comments. I hope everyone is enjoying this developing story. :) Also Sar have fun at SeaCon, be safe I need you back in class. <3


	3. We Are Gonna Be Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **AUTHOR'S NOTE: WARNING THERE IS FLASHBACK OF RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER. NOTHING TOO DESCRIPTIVE, BUT THEY'RE THERE. THIS WAS REALLY HARD TO WRITE. FORTUNATELY IT DOES NOT TAKE UP ALL OF THE CHAPTER SO I WILL PUT THAT MEMORY IN BOLD, ITALICS AND YOU CAN SCROLL PAST IT AND BE ON YOUR MERRY WAY OR READ IT IF YOU MUST... I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT. I WANTED TO GIVE CAS A BIG HUG AFTER I WROTE IT. ;-; Please let me also note that I do not condone rape as a form of art or something taken lightly, but in light of Castiel's situation in this story let me just say that he breaks his "chains" so to speak later on from feeling like a victim. I'm sorry if this chapter upsets anyone that is not my intention. I hope I have addressed the issue as much as I can without triggering anyone, that is why I put this note. Again thank you for reading. You're the best. :)**  
>  Castiel has discovered something. Dean is intrigued. Ambiguously gay duo is assembled! (I'm kidding, but seriously that SNL short was one of the great ones)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So I don't know if this is going to be a long or short chapter. Just please bare with me. I really appreciate the kudos. Y'all are so kind. :)

_**Two Weeks** _ **_Later_ **

Dean is in the den looking over a car magazine when Castiel comes in looking flustered.  His untidy hair is looking even more untidy than usual, he keeps licking his lips, and his cheeks are flushed and only make his eyes pop out more.

"Cas?" Dean asks, setting aside his magazine.

Castiel looks at his surroundings.  Anything besides those gorgeous, green eyes and those plump lips.

_'Cassie quit using the wrong head and just spit it out.'_

Castiel's hands are shaking.  He tries to control his nerves, but can't quite grasp the situation.  He eventually clenches and releases his fists in a weird pattern.

"Cas, talk to me, man," Dean says, getting up from the chair he is sitting in, and places his hands on Castiel's shoulders.

Castiel licks his lips one more time before speaking.

"I- I know who one of them is." He says finally. 

He doesn't dare look up at Dean's expression.  He can practically feel Dean's jaw clench.

"Are you certain?" He asks Castiel.

Castiel finally wills himself to look at the man, and when he does he immediately sees the hostility in his eyes.  He doesn't cower away.  He knows that look is not for him.

"Yes." He replies.

"Show me." Dean demands, now gently rubbing Castiel's shoulders which feels amazing.

He lets his eyes close, and he melts into the warmth of those strong hands.  Since being here, Castiel has gained ten pounds; his ribs no longer as visible as they were before.  The cuts in his thighs have healed nicely, and he walks with a little more pep in his step.

Yes, being with his savior Dean Winchester has made Castiel blossom into an image of the Castiel Novak he once knew.

_'Cassie, focus!'_

Castiel physically shakes himself out of his thoughts.  Dean can't help but chuckle which causes Castiel's cheeks to blush darker.

"Cas, you were gonna show me-"

"Right!" Castiel exclaims, "Right, I need a computer."

Dean goes to Bobby's desk and gets out a sleek looking laptop from a drawer inside the desk.

"Here you go." Dean says, gesturing to the laptop.

-

Azazel Lehne.

That was the man's name.

Castiel was watching the news when he recognized him.  Castiel had started watching the news the day he began his stay at the Singer residence.  He wanted to make sure that if anyone was looking for Gordan Walker he would know about it.  Dean also lent him the police radio Dean had in his room, but so far no one was looking for a Gordan Walker.

No, it wasn't until Castiel was flipping through channels, and landed on the headline ' _COLLEGE GIRL MISSING',_ did Castiel catch the man's voice.  He immediately knew Azazel was one of them.  He was the anchorman standing in front of the lawn of the campus the missing girl must have attended.  His teeth were abnormally white and pristine.  He made Castiel's skin crawl.  But it was his voice and his eyes that triggered Castiel into going back into that room.

_**-** _

_**Broken.  Bloody.  Bruised.** _

_**Castiel is lying on the rotting, wooden floor of the attic.** _

_**One of them just finished their 'session' leaving Castiel sore, out of breath and in a lot of pain.** _

_**If only he could find a way to make it stop.** _

_**But 'Yellow-Eyes' won't let that happen.** _

_**He likes to hold Castiel down while he goes into him.** _

_**He likes to take Castiel's blind-fold off and watch as the man in the ski mask with the unusual yellow eyes drives himself roughly into Castiel.** _

_**He likes to have Castiel look at him with his blue eyes so the man knows that he's there in the room with him, and not somewhere else like Castiel wants to be.** _

_**When's he's finishes he puts the mask over Castiel's face again, and runs his hand across Castiel's jaw while he whispers, "My angel."** _

_-_

"Cas man, you okay?" Dean calls out to his new friend.

The dark-haired man is now sitting in the chair Dean was sitting in only a few seconds ago.  A laptop in his lap, it shows the town next over's news station page with Azazel Lehne; his bright yellow-eyes and even brighter smile actually blinding Dean for a split second.  He gently takes the laptop from Cas's lap, and places it on Bobby's desk.  Grabbing two glasses and Bobby's bourbon (he'll repay Bobby later), he's back at Cas's side in two strides.  Cas is still in trance, and Dean can't help but hold Cas's face in his hands.

"Cas, please say something..." Dean says in a very worried tone.

"Don't."

"What?" Dean asks.

Cas flutters his eyelashes, and two tears fall down his cheeks, "Don't.  Go." He says.

Dean lowers his arms, his hands no longer cupping Cas's face.  Cas, however, grabs Dean's wrist and pulls his hand closely to his chest.

"Don't go, please." Cas says, sniffling.

"Where'd you go?" Dean asks, stroking his hair.

"Somewhere I shouldn't have," Cas replies weakly.

Dean sighs.  He takes the bourbon that's on the floor next to him, and pours him and Cas their drinks.

"Here, you need this." Dean says, handing Cas a glass with amber looking liquid in it.

Cas shakes his head, "I don't really drink."

"It's not a request, you'll feel a little better I promise," Dean replies, "just please drink."

Cas grabs the glass, and takes two sips before handing it back to Dean.  Dean drinks it down like water and pours himself another.  Cas chuckles.

"What's so funny?" He asks, smiling in the hopes that it'll loosen the tension in Cas's shoulders.

"Seems like you needed a drink more than I did," Cas replies, a smirk on his face.

Dean smiles back, but doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to frighten you." Cas says, patting Dean's shoulder.

Dean shrugs, "You have nothing to be sorry about Cas it’s that sonofabitch that's gotta pay." 

Cas tilts his head, "But how, Dean?" He asks him.

"I have my ways." Dean replies.

Cas bites his lower lip.  Dean is waiting for him to ask the inevitable.

"You're going to kill him, aren't you Dean." Cas says.

Dean looks into those cobalt blue eyes.  His gaze wanders to those chapped lips, and the scruffy stubble.  Cas has already been through so much.  He's already seen Dean at his darkest.  There's no reason for him to lie, so he doesn't.

"Yes Cas, I am going to kill him." Dean replies.

Dean's not ready for Cas's next statement but deep down he knows it’s been coming.

"I want to help." Cas says, his voice deep and throaty.

Dean rubs his jaw and downs his bourbon once more.

"Alright," Is Dean's reply.

-

Cas isn't exactly sure how they are going to play this out.  There is no way 'Yellow-Eyes' can see Cas.  Dean's cover would be blown and they would never get the chance to seek vengeance.  Dean did not want Cas to kill anyone.  Dean said it was a lot harder to take a life than he let on.  So here Castiel is in Dean's '67 Chevy Impala. 

Meanwhile Dean is in a bar that 'Yellow-Eyes' frequents called 'The Crossroads'.  It’s an upscale bar for men and when who work white collar jobs.  The place is mostly frequented by white collar males in suits and ties who have full wallets but empty hearts.  Castiel can see Dean in a black suit having a drink on his own waiting for Lehne to show up.

Castiel wishes he could be in the bar having a drink with Dean even though Castiel doesn't really drink.

_'And have Yellow-Eyes spot you and ruin everything? Fat chance, Cassie.'_

Castiel shakes his head.  Gabe's voice is right.  If Castiel wants to exact vengeance he has to let Dean do what he does best.  Castiel focuses his gaze back onto Dean's small frame in the bar.  He's still sitting alone by himself a cold drink in those beautiful, calloused hands.  Castiel finds himself thinking about those hands.  Wishing he could just grab hold of one of them, and lock their fingers together.  

_'No Cassie, c'mon, he's probably not even... you've never even had a relationship before.'_

Castiel shakes his head.  The fact that Dean Winchester is a serial killer who kills bad people is not one of the cons of having a crush on him.  The fact that Castiel is in fact a rape victim in the car of the man who killed one of his rapists screams just how fucked up the entire situation is.  Yet Castiel refuses to feel like it's his fault.  

Castiel shakes his head.

Before all of this, Castiel never had anything spontaneous or dangerous in his life.  He worked at the Art Institute of Chicago as a conservator or papers and bindings most of if biblical, and a lot of it in Latin.  It was a very mundane life, but it kept him busy.  He could do what he loved, and still maintain a relationship with his family.

His family.

He thought about his family when he was abducted.  He thought about them while trapped in that attic.  He thought about them as he made his escape.  After Dean had told him that Bobby said it was alright for Castiel to stay, he thought about calling them.  However, no matter how hard he tried, he could not being himself to pick up the phone and dial Gabe's or Anna's number.  He even thought about calling his best friend Balthazar, but what if they thought they were talking to ghost?

Castiel can only assume that he had been gone far too long, that Gabe and Anna put a missing persons' case for him, but eventually gave up.  Chicago is a big city with a high crime rate; cops would probably assume that Castiel was a mugging gone wrong, and his body would be lost in the water somewhere.  Castiel runs a hand down his face, rubbing the stubble on his jaw.  He would have to shave again.  He looks back at the bar, and feels his breath get caught in his throat.

Sitting next to Dean is Azazel 'Yellow-Eyes' Lehne. A surge of jealousy goes through Castiel.  He prays for Dean's safety, prays that Lehne doesn't catch on to what Dean's playing at.  Mostly, Castiel prays that he will get to watch Lehne take his last breath with fear in his eyes.

_'Whoa Cassie, let Dean do that killing, not you.'_

As much as Castiel agrees with Dean, that the killing should fall onto his hands, he still wants to be the one with the knife in his hands.  He wants to the one that takes Lehne's life.  He wants to do the killing instead of Dean.

His cobalt eyes focus more on Dean and notices that Lehne is captivated by the beautiful, green-eyed man in front of him.  He can tell.  Lehne has the same look in his eye that Cas is sure he has when he looks at Dean.

He shakes his head again.

This is work.  Dean is doing work.  This isn't a real date or a hook-up.  Lehne will be tied to a chair with a knife in his chest, and Castiel will have another monster off his list.

_'And then what?'_

Castiel sighs.   He wishes he knew the answer to that question, but for right now it's unclear, just like everything else in his life right now.

-

Dean is seriously done with this guy.

_Lehne is_ a fucking dirtbag through and through.  Here he is sitting with Dean, offering to buy him a drink, and a fucking wedding ring is visible on his left index finger.  Dad would have a fucking field day with this guy.  Apart from Cas and the other victims he, Gordan Walker, and the other mysterious people of that monstrous group, Lehne was also a rapist.  His favorite victims were young adult males and college girls.  Just like Cas, and just like the girl from the news report.  Right now he was chatting up Dean, telling him how big a hot-shot he is back at the station.  Every once in a while he presses his knee against Dean's, and Dean wants to break the glass in his hand over the man's head.

_'Fuck this guy.'_

Dean sees his Baby outside parked across the street.  Cas is probably in there watching Dean be flirted with by his tormentor.  He considered letting Cas have a go at him once Dean gets Lehne out of the bar, but the thought seemed out of place.  Cas is… He is like some celestial.  He's good and full of this light that Dean could never possess.  If he let Cas kill this man, it might snub out his light.

"What are you thinking about?" Lehne asks Dean, bringing him back to the situation at hand.

Dean graces him with a dashing smile, “Thinking about getting out of here with you, handsome." Dean replies.

The comment works.  Lehne likes his ego stroked, that much is certain.  Dean can't wait to break it.

Lehne runs his tongue across his teeth, and Dean has to hold back the bile that wants to rise up his throat.  He hides that behind his smile, and takes the last sip of his drink.  He watches as Lehne grabs his coat, and follows Dean out of the bar.

Dean opens the door for Lehne, but Lehne is also holding the door for Dean to leave.  Peculiar, but Dean heads out first anyways.  Honestly, he wishes they could have met at the Roadhouse instead.  There's already enough blood, sweat, spit, and tears to shield any investigation.  Bars are actually one of the more convenient places to kill.

"I've been looking forward to this since I've sat down with you, Pretty Eyes."  Lehne says, his voice is dark and harsh.

Before Dean knows it he feels a pinch on his neck.  His vision is blurring. Fuck. Lehne drugged him.  The bastard actually drugged him.  Dean feels his legs give out under him.

_'Fuck, what have I done?'_

Lehne holds Dean up, and begins to pull him to the back area of the bar.

Dean is struggling to get to his feet.  Alas, it's no use.  This must be how he got his victims, but what did he inject Dean with?

"You and I, we're going to have one hell of a time," Lehne whispers into Dean’s ear, his breath hot on his neck.

"Oh no you  _fucking_ don't," says a familiar raspy voice.

Dean hears a  _THUNK!_ and Lehne groan in pain, and then succumbs to what Lehne injected him with, passing out.

-

Castiel is not exactly sure what happened.  Dean was exiting the bar with Lehne, and then Lehne snagged Dean.  He must have done something to him.  Dean was struggling, Castiel could see that, but it's did far more harm than good.

Without thinking much of it, Castiel got out of the Impala, and quietly, but quickly, made his way onto the other side of the bar area.  God only knew what he's doing, but Cas saw Lehne drag Dean to a Ford truck with the bed covered by a hood.  Castiel felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time: rage, and panic.  What would happen to Dean if Cas hadn’t gotten to him in time?  As he hid behind a dumpster, he saw a heavy-looking plank.  

"What the hell." Castiel hissed under his breath.

He grabbed the plank, and although his strength wasn’t what it used to be, he managed to grab it with both hands.  Lehne had Dean in a tight hold.  His arms were full of Dean Winchester.

_"You and I, we're going to have one hell of a time."_ Lehne said to Dean.

It made Castiel's skin crawl.

"Oh no you FUCKING don't," Castiel said, swinging the board toward Lehne's head.

After a loud  _THANK!._ Castiel dropped the plank in just enough time to catch Dean's passed out body.

-

"I got you Dean, I got you." Castiel says, gently placing Dean on the black pavement.

He returns two minutes later with the Impala.  He pops open the trunk of Dean's Baby.  Lifting Lehne's unconscious body he drops the bastard in with another  _THUD!_ He goes over to Dean, and with what little strength he has left he lifts his friend into the passenger side of the black Impala.  He looks to see if there are any signs of other people around, and thankfully there are not.  Castiel sees the plank on the ground and picks it up.  He throws it in the back of car, and heads out of the parking lot.

Castiel only hopes that God is on their side tonight.

If there _is_ a God.

-

Dean wakes up in the familiar surroundings of Bobby's parlor.  How he got here is a mystery to him.  The last thing he remembers is Lehne breathing hard against his neck, and then nothing.  There might have been a voice, definitely not Lehne's...

"Thank goodness you're awake!" 

Dean looks to see Cas rushing to his side.  His hair is in messy stir of things.  It's actually quite cute on him, but there are dark circles around his eyes.  How long has Dean been out?

"Are you okay?" Dean asks, getting up from the cot he was lying in.

Cas helps Dean up, and Dean puts two and two together.

Cas was the mysterious voice.  Cas saved Dean.  Boy, does Dean owe this dark-haired man.

"I'm fine," Dean replies, he gently squeezes Cas's shoulder in reassurance that he is indeed fine.

And he is, thanks to Castiel.

"Why are we back at Bobby's?" Dean asks him.

Cas shuffles his feet uncomfortably, "I panicked after we left the bar parking lot, you were unconscious and so was Lehne, and I just- fuck, I panicked!" Cas exclaims, raising his hands in the air.

Cas takes a seat in Bobby's armchair.  With his hands in his face, he lets out a shaky laugh.

"I'm in _way_ over my head here." Cas says.

Dean sighs, "I'm sorry I got you into this mess."

Cas laughs, "What, how is this your mess?" Cas asks him. "If anything, this is  _MY_ mess." Cas professes.

"We're in this together." Dean replies.

"You mean that?" Cas asks him.

Dean can't help but what to reach out to him.  To hold him tight, and tell him it's alright.  Almost like the way he used to hold Sam when John was on his drunken war path and they had to hide in the bathroom.  But Dean knew this was different.

"He's down in the basement." Cas says, out of the blue.

"What?" Dean asks him.

"Lehne... Yellow-Eyes, he's... he is in the basement." Cas says.

"Oh, wow." Dean says, running his hand down his face.

"Yeah." Cas replies. 

Dean sighs, "Well... what are we waiting for?"

"Pardon?"

"Let's go welcome our guest." Dean says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, sorry it took forever to update this time. Big thank you to teenystark for proofreading. I'll try to update sooner. Have a great day.


	4. Apex Predator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally face Lehne, and are ready to take on their monster in the basement, but are they ready to take on their feelings for each other as well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... that summary sounded like a bad porno. I'VE BEEN LIVING IN A FOOLS PARADISE! Any who. Thanks for your patience. I really appreciate it. Auto bots rickroll out of here
> 
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> (wut?)

Castiel feels like his whole body is vibrating.  Dean is leading him down to the basement where Castiel had left Lehne.  So close to his prize, and yet so far.  Castiel never thought he would be one for taking a life.  After all murder is one of the ultimate sins. Yet here he is with Dean Winchester, his freckled-faced savior, who risked his life just so Castiel could watch him take someone else's life.

"I already took your to kit down stairs for you," Castiel tells Dean, "I tied up Lehne just like you showed me."

"Thanks Cas." Dean replies as they head down the basement steps.

 _Cas._ The nickname Dean likes to call him instead of his full name or ' _Cassie_ ' the one Gabriel and Balthazar gave Castiel when they were kids.  He likes it a lot better than Cassie.  Cassie made him feel like the six year-old boy who chased bees and cried over stray kittens.  Cas made him feel like... an adult.  An actual adult. 

And here they are.  Two people.  Two... friends?  Yeah.  Castiel can consider Dean Winchester a friend.  After all he did save him.

"Before we go in," Dean says turning around to face Castiel whose still on the stairs, "are you sure you want to do this, are you sure you want to be here?" He asks him.

Castiel clenches his jaw.  Looks down to his feet and back up to Dean's piercing green gaze. 

"I'm very much ready Dean." Castiel replies.

Dean sighs, rubbing his jaw.  Castiel finds himself wanting to reach over and do the same thing, but stops himself from doing so.  He knows there's something there between him and his green-eyed companion, but how far is Dean willing to go?

How far is he willing to go?

To think Castiel would fall in love with a serial murderer.  A serial murderer who rids the world of evil, but still a murderer.  Castiel is sure Balthazar would have a field day if he knew Castiel was crushing hard on his rescuer. That is if he'd ever see his friend again.

"Cas man, you alright?" Dean asks Castiel.

Castiel's blue eyes make contact with Dean's green ones.  He wants to reach out and caress that scuffy jawline of his, but stops himself from doing so.  After all, the two have never really addressed their feelings.  

Sure there have been little touches here and there.  Hugs that have been more than friendly.  Stares that have lingered for too long.

Castiel let's out a huff of air, "Yes Dean I would very much like to watch this man die." He says, his voice dark and monotone

Castiel watches and Dean reaches for the back of Castiel's neck and hopes he's about to do what he thinks he's about to do.  Instead Dean gently massages his neck for a quick second.

"Alright man, let's get this over with." Dean replies.

-

Dean is the first to see Cas's handy work.  Lehne is tied up to a chair, there's duct tape covering his mouth.  He's not passed out anymore.  Instead he's observing Cas and Dean as they make their way toward him.  His yellow eyes watching them like some hungry predatory sonofabitch.  Dean usually has to hold back the urge to throw a punch, but now is not the time.

Cas gasps at the hard smack he hears as Dean's fist makes contact with Lehne's face.

"Dean." Cas replies.

Dean turns around to face his friend.  Cas gives him a quizzical look.  Dean can't help but look at Cas's soft, puffy, pink lips.  Back on the stairs he very much wanted to kiss Cas, and he was sure that maybe Cas wanted that too.  But he wouldn't force himself on Cas like that.  As much as he wanted to kiss the man they had more important matters to attend to.  Like the bastard that tortured and raped Cas whose currently tied up to a chair in Bobby's basement.  Dean caresses Cas's cheek and can't help but notice how his lower half twitches when he hears a sharp gasp from Cas when their skin makes contact.

"Aw that's sweet get a room guys." Lehne says behind Dean's back.

Dean and Cas narrow their eyes toward the rapist who despite the situation still has a cocky smile smacked across his face.

"Angel face, so good to see you again." Lehne says.

Dean sees something flash in Cas's sky blue eyes.  Hostility?  Pain?  Murder?  Whatever it is Dean likes it.

Cas takes two strides toward the tied up man before Dean realizes what's going on.  

"CAS!"

Cas has his hands wrapped around Lehne's neck using every thing he has in him to take Lehne's life, and as much as Dean agrees with Cas's motivation to do so it goes against the code.

"Cas, stop it!" Dean says, pulling his friend away.

Cas is breathing heavily in Dean's arms.  His body is shaking.  Dean looks into Cas's eyes and sees tears that are begging to escape.  Dean shushes Cas trying to calm him down.

"I know baby I know." Dean says, caressing Cas's face and to his surprise Cas actually leans into Dean's touch.

"Oh get a fucking room you twinks." Lehne quips, his voice dry and raspy due to Cas's strangulation.

Dean's nostrils flare and without a hesitation he kisses Cas on the forehead before turning his attention to the fucker tied in the chair.

"Listen I don't really need justify my preferences." Dean states all the while pulling out the huge blade from his pocket.

Lehne stills at the sight of it and it only encourages Dean to continue with his antics, "Sometimes I see a beautiful woman and take her to bed and sometimes I see a beautiful man and take him to bed sometimes I switch roles with the guys as well as the girls, its nice to just get lost in the moment once in a while." Dean says edging his knife closer to Lehne's skin, gently grazing the blade across his exposed chest.

"But we're not here to discuss my sexual appetite," Dean continues, "no sir, we're here for one thing and one thing only."

"And what the  _fuck_ is that exactly?" Lehne asks, hostility growing in his lemon yellow eyes.

"We're gonna cut you open nice and slow." Casl says.

Dean can feel the lower part of him stirring, Cas's eyes are dilated so much so, that they look like black pools with a tiny blue ring around them.  His voice is much deeper and darker in it's tone than it was before.  Whoever this Cas is Dean likes him, he likes him a lot.

Dean smirks behind Lehne, still holding the blade to Lehne's neck gently putting pressure near Lehne's jugular.  He nods his head toward Cas who's eyes are fixated on the two of them, and encourages his friend to continue.

Cas smirks back at Dean, "I'm going to enjoy watching you writhe in pain as that knife is plunged inside you over and over and over again." Cas says, slowing moving closer to the two.

"You're going to feel every bit of fear, every bit of pain that I've felt." Cas hisses.

Dean can feel Lehne's heart beating more and more rapidly.  Dean presses the blade gently into Lehne's neck cutting a small sliver near his jugular.

"You're going to beg for us to stop, you're going to pray to whatever God you pray to and when you're voice becomes too raw and too tired to produce one more syllable," Cas pauses, this time leaning into Lehne's ear his puffy, slightly chapped lips caressing Lehne's sweat slicken skin, "I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill the person you were just like you killed the person who I once was."

Dean's nostrils flare, he is very much hard now and he's pretty sure Cas can tell.   No more sounds come Lehne's mouth which is partially open, all the hostility is gone from his eyes.  Dean moves the blade away from his neck, flips the knife to where Dean is holding the blade in his hand and offers the handle of the knife to Cas.

"Show him who the new Castiel Novak is." Dean says, his eyes never leaving Cas's gaze.

It appears Dean Winchester has found the friend he was always looking for.

-

Castiel takes the handle from Dean.  The blade feels nice and cool in his hands.  It feels like a limb he never knew he needed.

_'Show him who the new Castiel Novak is.'_

The words still linger in Castiel's head.  He looks at his gorgeous, dangerous friend and himself reflected in those emerald green eyes.  Those emerald green eyes that are probably just as dilated as his own. 

Castiel looks down at Lehne who's unnaturally yellow-eyes are fully of fear and regret.  Two things that very much please Castiel right now.  He lazily drags the blade down Lehne's chest forming tiny crimson read lines up and down his skin.  Not enough to really hurt, but just enough to sting and make the yellow-eyed bastard uncomfortable.

"You think this will make you feel better?" Lehne hisses.

Castiel smirks, "So far... yes." He says.

Castiel kneels down, getting on Lehne's eye level.

"You took my life, my will power, who I was... you took it all away and now I'm going to return the favour." He says, practically spitting on Lehne.

Castiel knows that he's gone too far.  That the old Castiel would never do this.  Be that as it may, Castiel was right in telling him that who is now, is entirely different than the person Lehne tortured six months ago.

"Cas man, you sure you're ready for this?" Dean asks Castiel, bring the dark-haired man out of his thoughts.

Castiel sighs, he looks at the blade in his hands

  _'It's now or never...'_

Before Castiel knows what his hand is doing, he hears the sharp gasp that comes out of Lehne's mouth as Dean's blade goes through Lehne's abdomen.

"There ya go." Dean whispers softly, like he's encouraging a lover.

It causes Castiel's chest to swell with pride.

Castiel takes the blade out and plunges it into Lehne again who in turn gasps this time years begin to run down those artificially tan cheeks.  It felt good to have control of his pain.  It felt right to have this man cry, and be at Castiel's mercy.  He felt like he was David and Lehne was Goliath.  It was biblical and righteous.  

No wonder Dean did this.

"Cas?"

Dreams vice brings Castiel back to reality.  He's had the knife in Lehne's abdomen for a good five minutes.  The bastard is actually passed out from the pain.

"You alright dude?" Dean asks Castiel, a worrisome look painted across his freckled face.

Castiel takes the knife out from Lehne's passed out body.  He staggers a bit as he turns away from Lehne and Dean. A small pool of blood begins to form at the bottom of the chair.  Who knew one person could bleed so much.

"Cas look at me." Dean's voice says.

Castiel's vision is filled with white spots and Dean's voice.  Soon his vision beings to clear and Dean's figure is right in front of him.  Dean is holding Cas close to his chest.  His body is pressed tenderly again the other man's, and he can't help the sensation that is stirring within him.

_'So beautiful'_

Dean's green eyes are so close to Castiel's.

"No man, you're beautiful, you're like ethereally beautiful." Dean says to him.

Castiel can't help but smile.

Dean.

His saviour.  His healer.  His friend.  Castiel's hand snakes it's way into Dean hair and pulls Dean close to his face their lips crushing together on first contact.  Dean is still frozrn, unsure of what to do.  So Castiel begins to rub his lower half against Dean's, causing the freckled man to moan into their kiss before cuping Castiel's neck with one hand and Castiel's left ass check with his other deepening their kiss.

It's everything Castiel expected.  Dean's lips feel perfect pressed against his own.  Dean presses their crotches against each other earning moans from both of them.

"Good God you're so beautiful." Dean says taking a breath of air from their kiss.

"Likewise Dean." Castiel says, biting Dean's lower lip roughly causing Dean to growl.

"I've waited so  _fucking_ long for this." Dean replies.

"Same here."

Dean finally pulls themselves apart.  Castiel enjoys the view he has of Dean Winchester.  His hair is sticking up at odd ends.  His pouty lips are swollen especially his bottom lip.  His eyes are a dark green.  Dean Winchester is more beautiful than any thing he's ever seen. 

"Dean I want you to fuck me." Castiel blurts out.

Dean let's out heavy, quivering sigh, "Holy shit Cas, you just  _saying_ those words is gonna make me cream my pants." Dean replies.

Castiel smiles, "Good."

He begins reaching for Dean's embarrassingly bulging groin but Deans hand catches Castiel's and raises it to Dean's face.

"No, I don't want to do it like this." Dean treks Castiel.

Dean brings Castiel's hand to his lips and kisses it gently.  He looks back to the shallow breathing Lehne sitting in the chair.

"We've got work to do." Dean adds.

Castiel sighs but agrees with Dean.  Lehne is still in the room:  Unconscious, slowly bleeding to death, and there's still one question Castiel wants to ask him.

As Castiel turns his attention back to the unconscious fucker in the chair he picks up the bloody knife, and gets on his knees.

_SLAP!_

"Come on! Wake up!" Cas demands, his palm coming in contact with Lehne's face.

Lehne moans in pain.  Castiel only continues to slap him.  Lehne stirs, his yellow eyes fluttering to consciousness.  He looks around the room and after a few minutes begins to sob.

"Stop crying, you don't get to show any emotion." Castiel snaps.

Dean is in the back probably getting another knife out.  Dean likes knives and Castiel made a comment about it once asking why.

_'Dunno, they just... prolong the pain better I want then to be as afraid and in pain as their victims they deserve it.'_

Castiel pokes Lehne with tip of the bmade, but not hard enough to cut any skin.

"I got a question because we continue." Castiel replies.

Lehne sniffles.  Castiel notices his body is shaking.  He's afraid and Castiel likes it.

"Who are the other people who tortured me?" Castiel asks him.

"If I tell what will you do?" Lehne asks him.

"There's no bargaining out of this you die now or Dean here is going to torture the names out of you, your choice." Castiel responds, growing impatient by the second.

Castiel lazily drags the flat part of the blade down Lehne's face, "Do you remember the first time you attacked me?" He asks him.

Lehne stays silent in the his chair.  He never fully makes eye contact with Castiel.

"i remember... every night I remember what you...  _people_ did to me night after night."

Castiel notices Dean in the corner of the basement.  Silent, quiet, and always watching, he's like a predator waiting for his prey to give him the perfect opportunity to pounce.

"Who are the other people who attacked me, who killed all those people, who the  _FUCK_ are they?" Castiel yells into Lehne's face.

Lehne stay quiet, and it's only driving Castiel up the wall.  He has never been one for violence, well, not until recently but seeing this man, this  _monster_ in this chair.  It makes Castiel want to claw Lehne's eyes out.

Castiel really has changed.

"Cas?"

Dean once again is kneeling besides him.

Castiel turns his head toward Dean.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to." Dean says, his calloused hand gently rubbing the side of Castiel's jaw.

Castiel closes his eyes.  He pictures his family.  He pictures Gabriel in the kitchen whipping up something sweet.  He pictures Anna at one of her dance recitals.  He pictures Balthazar laughing.  Lastly, he pictures himself with all of them.  How it use to be.  How he use to be.

He was happy.

Now he wakes up each night.  Screaming and thrashing in his sleep.  Dean always coming to his aide.  He thought he'd never be happy again, but here he is.  With Dean in this dirty basement with one of the people that tortured and raped him, and for once he is happy.

Dean Winchester makes happy.

"I have to do this Dean, _I_ have to do this." Castiel pleads.

Dean sighs but doesn't fight Castiel, which he's grateful for.  Lehne is staring at the ground.  Castiel almost forgot what he was doing.

He turned his attention back to Lehne, "I'm growing impatient names now." He growls.

Lemme laughs, "I'll never tell and you'll never know, until it's too late."

Castiel flares his nostrils, "Fine."

Castiel has never taken a life before.  Having Dean's knife in Lehne's chest has changed that.  Lehne's face is pure shock.  Guess he thought he'd live to get away with all he did.  Castiel's glad he could change that for him.

"Cas! Cas! Stop he's dead man!" Dean shouts.

Castiel doesn't remember going into a blackout rage, but as soon as Dean touches his arm he brought back to reality.  Castiel looks at his handy work and sees that he's stabbed Lehne about ten times.

"Holy shit." Dean says quietly.

Castiel drops the knife, and sluggishly stands up from the dead body of Lehne.  Dean quickly rushes to Castiel's side.

"I'm sorry." Castiel mumbles.

"It's alright." Dean replies.

Castiel shakes his head, "I- I should have pressed him more."

"He wasn't gonna give you anything, he's a stubborn sonofabitch," Dean replies, "here let's set you down here." 

Dean places Castiel onto a dusty couch a few feet away from their work area.  Castiel feels drained and sore.  Like he's just ran a marathon.

"Cas look at me, please." Dean says, calling Castiel back to Earth.

Castiel finds himself fixating on those emerald green eyes.

"What do we do with his body?" Castiel asks Dean.

Dean sighs.  Dean leans in and kisses Castiel fully on the lips.  It's brief but beautiful.

"Leave that to me."  

-

Dean never thought his first date would be in a graveyard.

Yet here he is with a handsome dark haired man standing by his side... while Dean is digging a deeper whole for a body.

"You do this every time?" Cas asks Dean.

"Yup." Dean huffs, shoveling dirt over his shoulder.

Lehne's body lies right next to Cas's feet.  He had never seen Cas so violent and primal.  It was strange and intriguing and only made Dean hard just thinking about it.

"No one has discovered the other bodies?" Cas asks him.

Dean puts the shovel in the dirt, "Well, not all the fuckers I kill are from around here." Dean replies, wiping sweat off his face.

He watches as Cas's eyes grow wide as the information sinks in.

"Where else have you killed people?" He asks Dean.

Dean shrugs, "Mostly in this state, South Dakota is big and wild and there are a ton of easy disposal spots, but I've always been to Illinois, Ohio, Kansas, and even Canada." Dean replies.

Cas reminds quiet and it begins to worry Dean.

"Cas you okay?" He asks him.

Cas's eyebrows crinkle, "And all these people they... they were bad?" He asks Dean.

"They were monsters Cas, they murdered their loved ones in cold blood, killed children for no reason, kidnapped and raped women and little girls for the mere enjoyment of seeing them in pain." Dean replies.

"How do you know this?" Cas asks him again.

Dean sighs, "They usually confessed their crimes right before they died."

Cas ponders that, "Except Lehne over here." Cas quips, nudging the body with is dress shoe.

Dean looks from Cas's foot to his face.  Cas's blue gaze never leaves his.  There's something behind those calm, always assessing eyes that give Dean the goosebumps.

Something primal.  Something new.  Dean's only seen that look before.  He remembers when he first saw it.

It was this one guy named Benny; Benny was a trucker passing through from New Orleans.  He had stopped into the Roadhouse late one night while Dean was closing up alone.  Not many people were there that night so Benny striking up a conversation with Dean wasn't too noticeable.  After a few gulps of whiskey and a lot of flirtatious yet subtle jokes, Dean and Benny took the back the bar made it a fool's paradise.  Dean was bottoming that night.  He'd gotten the urge to be taken by someone big and brutish, someone nice and firm around the middle but bigger than Dean.  That's exactly what he got from Benny as he took every each of Benny after some serious foreplay.  Dean was looking into those green-blue eyes he saw something he had never seen before.

Adoration. 

Admiration.

Lust.

Love?

Benny would come through that bar more frequently after that Helen and Jo started to take notice.  Ash stayed in his room most of the time, and has his music blasting all day and night.  So Dean and Benny would fuck each other senselessly under the stars.

Dean shakes his head.  He shouldn't be thinking about Benny when Cas is right in front of him.  However, the way Cas is looking at him right now...

Could Cas be aroused?

Is Dean not the only one with a hard on right now?

"Dean?" Cas calls out.

"Yeah?" Dean responds.

Cas smirks, and it makes Dean's heart palpitate.  He's known for a while that he's attracted to Cas, but he never thought he should press his feelings.  After all, Cas did just kill someone.  Someone who tortured him, hurt him, broke him into a shatter mess of who he use to be.  

"Dean."

"Yeah Cas."

Cas bats his eyes at Dean, "You're staring again."

Dean blushes, "Sorry, I know I shouldn't."

"Don't apologize I like it." Cas replies.

Dean's heart feels like it's going to escape.  It pains him that he has these feelings for Cas.  He shouldn't make Cas feel sequestered living with him.  Dean wants to desperately save Cas from his nightmares.  He loves having Cas with him in his bed, but he only wishes it was under different circumstances.

"Guess we should bury this fucker huh?" Dean suggests, poking Lehne's body with the tip of the shovel.

Cas makes a face, "He sure seems... squishy." Cas comments.

Dean smirks, "Yeah, they get squishy."

"We gotta undress him first." Dean says, climbing out of the grave with Cas's help.

"Why?" Cas asks.

"I usually bury them naked and burn the clothes." Dean says.

"Oh, makes sense." Cas says.

As they begin to undress Lehne Cas freezes.  He drops Lehne's button up shirt.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks him.

"Look... look at his right shoulder." Cas says, barely audible.

Dean looks where Cas is staring.  Right on Lehne's shoulder is an upside down pentagram with what looks to be a jackal inside a circle.

"What the hell is that?" Dean asks.

"It's an old cult, Benjamin Franklin was rumored to be apart of it back in London." Cas replies.

Dean takes note on how monotone his voice is.  More monotone than it usually is.

"You okay Cas?" Dean asks.

Cas looks up at Dean, "They're call the Hellfire Club, that's what he's a part of."

"He tried to kill me and killed countless other people so he can please this stupid club." Cas says, his voice now tense.  Dean notices he's clenching his fists.

Dean intertwines his fingers with Cas's, "We'll fine them I promise you."

Cas lets go of Dean's hand and shoves Lehne's body into the grave.  Cas begins shoveling the dirt back into the empty grave.

"We've got work to do." Cas grunts, still shoveling the dirt into the grave.

Dean grabs the other shovel and begins to help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing of the hellfire club. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by it. Thanks for reading. I hope the wait was worth it. I've had a lot on my plate but I'm finally getting to a better place so thanks for sticking with me and this story. You guys are awesome. :)


	5. How Soon Is Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks have past since the death of Lehne. Cas and Dean are working endlessly to find out who and what is the Hellfire Club and who are the people in it. Dean and Cas have also been contemplating those kisses and longing stares in the basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews and the kudos everyone. I'm also really, really sorry for the wait. But I'm back and this story is alive and well. Thank you and Im sorry it's short. I just wanted something cute and sweet for you guys. I really hope you like it.

Two weeks.

 

 Two weeks since Castiel had killed Lehne.  Of course a missing person's investigation is under-afoot, Castiel and Dean saw the report on Lehne's old news channel as well as channel three and ten.  The college girl was also missing, a factor that haunted Castiel and Dean's minds at night.  They began to sleep in the same bed after that night.  Not really touching, but there definitely was an attraction.  Castiel would always lie on the left side and stare at Dean's back or his chest while he slept soundly.  It drove Castiel crazy trying not to touch or stare too long.  It bugged him how he and Dean would cuddle on the couch watching television, or how Dean would always have his hand at the small of Castiel's back, but he never kissed him unless it was on the forehead or on the cheek.  Castiel isn't sure if it's because of what Lehne and his people did, or if it was because of the fact Castiel was no longer just a  _victim_ but he now had the title ' _Killer_ ' under his belt.

 "Cas?" Dean asks, bringing Castiel out of his thoughts.

 "Yeah Dean?"

 Dean's green eyes crinkle as he smiles, "Nothing baby," he says, gently caressing Castiel's cheek, “just wanted to see how you're doing." 

 Castiel sighs, leaning into Dean's touch, "I'm okay Dean, honest."

 Dean sighs, "Alright, well it's getting dark and I don't know about you but I'm starving."  Dean says heading towards the kitchen.

 "Dean," Castiel calls out.

 The freckled-faced man turns on his heel, eyebrow arched from Castiel’s voice.

 Castiel finds himself fumbling with his hands and his words, "I- I was wondering... if it's alright with you... that I prepare dinner this evening?" Castiel asks, he can feel his cheeks grow warm and tries to hide it.

 "Cas you can cook all you want. You don’t have to ask." Dean says, his smile literally from ear-to-ear.

 Castiel lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Good, good um, don't come in; I want it to be a surprise. You have so much food, enough to make at least four months of meals for every day!" Castiel exclaims.

 Then, he pecks Dean on the cheek without thinking about it and scurries off into the next room, closing the kitchen doors behind him.

-

 Dean has been pacing the room for a good thirty minutes.  His stomach is rumbling, giving him a constant reminder of his growing appetite.  If only Cas would let him help. Dean had done the cooking for himself, Sam, his dad, and Bobby since he could remember. With Bobby and Ellen dating, Sammy at Stanford, and Dad six feet under, the fun out of cooking felt gone.  Now he’s pacing in Bobby's den while Cas, the beautiful man with the beautiful blue eyes, is cooking dinner for the both of them.  Dean checks his watch again, only to find that two minutes have passed. How long is he going to be in there?

 "Dean!" Cas hollers from behind the sliding kitchen doors.

 Dean happily runs to open those doors and finds the adorable Cas in a kitchen apron.  The area smells amazing and Dean's pretty sure there’s drool pooling on the floor right now.

 "Dean, you okay?" Cas asks Dean.

 Dean has to remind himself to close this mouth, "I'm sorry, what do you need baby?" Dean asks.

 He catches Cas blushing once again, "I need you to set the table," Cas asks.

 Dean smiles back, "Sure, Angel,  I'll go set up the table."  He says gently patting Cas's cheek.

 He passes him and heads towards one of the kitchen drawers to get the table setting out.  His hands are shaking.  

 Is this a date?  And not only that, but did he just call Cas a friggin'  _Angel_?  Holy shit. 

 Dean hasn't been on any many dates.  Okay, maybe he couldn’t really call them “dates” considering they were all lucid, drunken sex-capades. 

 Alright, so Dean Winchester had never actually gone on a date.  If only Sammy could see him now.  Although his latest grave-digging with Castiel two weeks back was one of the best times of his life, he does want some normality in his crazy life.

 "Dinner is ready." Cas says.

 Dean turns around. He can feel heat rising to his cheeks and his ears. 

 "Awesome. What are we having?" Dean asks. 

 "Spaghetti."

 As the two busy themselves getting dinner ready it occurs to Dean just how fucking comfortable he is with this guy.  He smiles at himself.  Despite the situation and how they met, Dean is really happy he's met Castiel.  He looks at Castiel and sees something he never thought he'd see before:  an apple pie life. A life where he doesn't have to feed his demons.  A very happy life.

_'Get a hold of yourself Dean,'_ He mentally scolds himself as he’s setting the table.  The only time they'd kissed was in the heat of the moment in which they were about to kill a man.  Their adrenaline was high and Castiel was probably in the mood to do just about anything. Dean would  _really_  have to be kidding himself if he thought Castiel didn't feel the same way.  Dean sighs as he admires his handy work.  Bobby isn't exactly the fancy-shmancy type, but he was very sentimental to his late wife and took great care of her stuff and their home.  Dean always admired that about Bobby.

 "You're doing it again."

 Dean turns around only to have Castiel a mere inch away from his face.  Dean can feel blood instantly rushing to his freckled cheeks and on the tips of his ears.  Cas is the only person who seems to sneak up on him.  Cas smiles at him and then moves to pat Dean's cheek lightly.

 "You get lost in that head of yours a lot." Cas comments.

 Dean can't think right now.  Dean is too preoccupied staring at the most beautiful creature known to man.  His brilliant blue eyes, his puffy, pink, kissable lips, his voice.  And don't even get Dean started on that jawline. Cas could probably take over the world with that jawline.

 Dean clears his throat before speaking again, "I just can't believe I'm doing this."

 Cas smiles, "Eating?  Isn't that like breathing to you?"  The dark haired man teases.

 Dean gulps.  Who is he?  Where is he?  Is this a dream?

 "Are you real?"  He asks aloud instantly regretting it.

 Cas chuckles and it's honestly the cutest, sexiest thing he's ever experienced.

 "Shall we then?" Cas asks him.

 Dean nods silently.  He lets Cas take a seat before doing the same.  A giant bowl of spaghetti and a basket of garlic bread are in the middle of the kitchen table.  Dean's mouth is watering.  Everything smells so good.  He doesn't know what he wants first.  Cas chuckles again and Dean immediately looks to his lips; they are hands down the best thing he's ever tasted.

 "I normally don't complain about cooking,” Cas says, "but I did try hard and would really appreciate if you took a bite before it gets cold."

 Dean knows he's only teasing but obliges anyways.

 Dean takes more than what is deemed a normal bite, but he's a lot hungrier than he first assumed.  Dinner is in fact extremely delicious.  Sammy would be asking for seconds after the first bite. 

Dean hopes Sammy is eating enough over there.  When he got his scholarship it included a meal plan but still, Dean worries he's too busy with his nose in his textbook to worry about his stomach.

 "So how do you like it?"  Cas asks Dean.

 "It's fucking delicious."  Dean comments before biting into his garlic bread with some pasta sauce on it.

 Cas smiles, "Talking to you is like talking to Gabe."

 Dean gives Cas a quizzical look, "Who’s Gabe?"

 -

  _'Shit.'_

 Castiel didn't mean to bring up his family.  Seeing Dean practically moaning with every bite and the unnecessary use of the word  _fucking_ brought him back to the days of his annual spaghetti nights with Anna and Gabe.  The thought of them pulls at his heartstrings.  If only he would just contact them already. They have to be worried sick about him.

 Cas catches Dean’s eyes.  He knows Dean is waiting for an answer.

 "He's my brother," Cas replies while reaching for the glass of wine in front of him.

 "I didn't know you have a brother." Dean says.

 "I actually have a brother and a sister." He replies before eating again.

 He could have eased up on the sauce.  But Dean seems to really like it.  So it's still good.

 "You okay?" Dean asks Castiel.

 Castiel smiles at Dean, "I'm fine, Dean. Thanks for asking though."

 "Have you made contact with them?" Dean asks him.

 Cas's lip twitches, "No, no I have not called them yet."

 "Dude! You gotta call them they must be worried sick about you! I mean, from the way you mentioned them you guys gotta be close right?" Dean states.

 Cas sighs. "I can't call them yet... not until I know that they're safe."

 Dean's silent.  He's either waiting for an explanation or he sees how uncomfortable this is making Castiel and decided to stop asking questions.

 "I understand Cas," Dean says and to Castiel's surprise, Dean takes Castiel's hand in his and caresses it with his thumb, "if this ever happened to me I know Sammy would be freaking the fuck out, but I'd wanna make sure I gank the sonsofbitches who did this."

 "So you're not mad?" Castiel asks him.

 "No, of course I'm not mad, Cas."

 Cas lets out a sigh of relief.  He's so grateful for Dean Winchester.  So grateful of his beautiful existence.  His "hobby" is extremely unorthodox, but if it weren't for him Castiel wouldn't be eating the spaghetti he made for them in Dean's kitchen.

 "I need to finish this." Castiel comments.

 "And we will, but we don't have much to go by except for the tattoo on Lehne's arm."  Dean says.

 "Sam hasn't gotten back to you on that Hellfire stuff?"

 Dean sighs, "Sammy said the Hellfire Club was a name for several  _exclusive_  clubs for some pompous asses established in Britain and Ireland in the 18th century." Dean says before digging into his spaghetti.

 "Anything else?" Castiel asks him.

 "No, that's pretty much it." Dean says.

 Castiel sighs.  He knows it was a long shot to ask Dean's scary smart brother but at least it's something.  Hell, even Castiel didn't know a lot about the Hellfire Club, and his doctorate is on religious studies.

Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose.  A headache is obviously coming on.  He feels the warmth of Dean's hand as it gently pats his forearm.

 "We'll find them."

 Castiel smiles back the freckled man.

 "Okay."

 -

 Dean is brushing his teeth when he hears a knock on his bedroom door.

 "Hey Cas, what’s up?" Dean says pulling the toothbrush from his mouth.

 Cas is in his pajamas already.  Dean forgets just how effortlessly beautiful Castiel really is and the BAM!  Here comes tall, awkward, and still incredibly handsome.  Dean knows he's blushing because Cas has that stupid know-it-all smirk on his face.  One that he'd be more than happy to kiss away.  Or lick.  Whatever.

 "Dean, do you mind if we talk?" Cas asks him.

 Dean shakes his head and opens the door more to let Cas in.  Cas walks in and sits on the bed.  Lately he's been sleeping in the guest room that used to be Sammy's.  Dean kind of resents not being more aggressive about wanting to more affection from the guy, but he couldn't imagine Cas ever wanting a relationship after the horrible ordeal they went through

 "Will you please sit down next to me?" Cas asks him.

 See, there he goes again being so fucking polite.  Dean loves and hates how polite and respectable Cas is as a person.  After all the shit this guy has gone through, he still says 'please and thank you'.  Dean doesn't wait another second.  He heads to the bed and takes a seat right next to the dark-haired man. Tonight is such a weird night for Dean.  First dinner with Cas, and now he wants to talk?  Could he be leaving?  Has Cas changed his mind about hunting down those bastards that hurt him and those other people?

 "I would like to know-" Cas stops himself.

 The man is visibly shaking and Dean isn't sure what to do so he just takes hold of Cas's hands and tries to calm him.

 "Thank you." Cas says softly.

 Dean smiles, "It's alright, Sammy used to have panic attacks, especially when it came to tests--and girls. This helped him a lot for some reason."

 Cas smiles back at Dean, "You really care for Sammy." He comments.

 "Sammy is like my son/brother combo," Dean explains, "I'd die for him."

 Cas nods his head while trying to level his breathing, "I wish I had someone like that."

 Dean is a bit taken aback by that comment, "Uh, technically you do." 

 Cas chuckles, "Yeah I guess you're right."

 "I'd kill for you Cas... I have killed for you." Dean says and suddenly the realization hits him.

 He's killed a man.  Not only because of the code but because he loves Cas.  Holy shit.   _HE LOVES CAS._

 "Dean, did you hear me?" Cas asks.

 "Hmm?" Dean responds, mentally telling his inner fangirl to quiet down.

"I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me," Cas asks him.

 "A date?"

 "Yes."

 Dean looks down at their hands.  He loves how beautiful Cas's are.  He wishes Cas would stop being so damn polite and courteous and just take him here and now.

  _'Curse this stupid, beautiful baby in my pajama bottoms.'_

 "So you want to date?" Dean asks Cas.

 Dean braces himself for those killer blue eyes.  He takes a chance and looks directly at Cas who is also looking back at him with a small smile and blush creeping up his cheeks.

 "I uh... I kind of thought we already were... kind of... dating..." Dean says now looking everywhere but at Cas because he's so flustered and shy right now.

 Cas chuckles and his laughter brings Dean's attention right back to him.

 "Well I guess that's settled then."

 "You sure you want to do this?" Dean asks Cas.

 Cas is quiet.  He looks down to his hands which are still be cupped by Dean's.

 "Yes, this is what I want."  Cas replies.

 "Okay." Dean says, his heart nearly giving out.

 Cas smiles and leans in and gives Dean a quick kiss on the lips.  It's so subtle Dean doesn't even register what's happened until Cas is at the door saying good night.

 Dean is so screwed and he couldn't be anymore happier about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also a thank you to teenystark for being da best proofreader


	6. You & Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Date Night! And Dean couldn't be more excited. Lets hope the boys have a good time!
> 
> (there's definite smut in this chapter just warning you, also sorry for anyone whose reading this and knows me irl)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO! A special character appears in this chapter! 
> 
> And Im really sorry about the hiatus. I know i tend to do this a lot. Honestly I don't mean to but a lot of personal has been going on and I just didn't feel like writing. It was a dark time... BUT NOW IM BACK! and I'm working through stuff so thanks for sticking around for this story and the other one (if you're reading that one too) you're all really awesome.
> 
> also i tweaked the chapter a bit. a kind reader had noted that I did not bring out the lube. HOW can i have gay smut without lube. I am so sorry. but all is right in the world again so enjoy the chapter. :)

**Two Days Later.**

Dean curses the Gods.

Of all the nights it has to rain did it have to be  _this_ night?

Tonight is Cas and Dean's date and Dean had planned something really special for tonight.

Two tickets to some art gallery by some artist Cas had mentioned liking a few weeks back.  It took Sam and Dean all night to find those tickets but now they would never be able to go.  The rain was pouring down hard and had caused severe flooding on the highway they would of had to take to get there.  Dean curses himself, the Gods, and the rain.

"Don't have such a sour face Dean." Cas says.

Cas is sitting in the passanger seat in a black button up shirt, and slacks.  It took all of Dean's strength to keep his hands to himself and his eyes for that matter.  Cas didn't seem to mind the rain or Dean's ansty behaviour.  In fact he seemed to enjoy seeing Dean feeling awkward not that he says anything about it but Cas seems to be... buzzing.  

Dean takes a quick glances at Cas through the mirror before turning his attention back to the road.

"I'm so pissed right now." Dean states.

"Why?" Cas asks as he turns the radio down.

"Because I really wanted this to be special." Dean replies.

Cas doesn't say anything but he does however put his hand on Dean's thigh.  Hoping the small amount of contact will appease some of Dean's discomfort with the date situation.

It doesn't.

Everything is hard.

Dean swallows the moan that is going to escape his throat and continues to focus on the road rather than the burning spot on his thigh that is Castiel's hand.

"You're awfully quiet." Cas comments ten minutes later.

"Yeah well it's raining and roads are dangerous at night." Dean replies.

Cas sighs.  He doesn't take his hand off of Dean's thigh though.

 "So I don't know about you," Castiel says after a few seconds of silence, "but I could go for a drink." He suggests.

Dean frowns, "Are you suggesting we forget the exhibit?" He asks Cas.

Dean becomes aware of just how warm Cas's hand as it rests on Dean's thigh.  Even through the thick denim of his jeans, it feels like Cas's hand is practically branding him.  It's strangely arousing.

"I really appreciate that you thought of me on our date," Cas replies, an endearing look across his face, "but I'm fine just having a few beers back at the Roadhouse while we watch Jo dis every guy that hits on her."

A cheeky grin spreads across Dean's face, "Beers, burgers, rock 'n' roll, and good company," Dean lists, his gaze going to Cas as the end of his sentence, "what more could a simple guy like me ask for?" He asks.

Cas chuckles, his laugh deep and throaty.  He sends a tingling sensation to the spot where Cas's hand is.

"Simple is one thing that you are not, Dean Winchester." Cas comments.

Dean feels heat rising to his cheeks. 

"Stop, don't even say I'm not anything but average." 

"Dean you murder the evil and the corrupt, and save people while doing it." Cas replies, his hand still remains on Dean's thigh, "You saved me."

"Stop."  Dean says, he puts one of his hands on top of Cas's and gives it a gentle reassuring squeeze, "I'm... I'm just as dark as them, I'm not a hero Cas, don't make it seem like what I'm doing is heroic."

"Dean,"  Cas says, his voice is quiet and soothing, "you saved my life, you helped me kill one of my monsters, and on top of that you welcomed me into your home and have shown me... well, kindness I've never known."

Dean pulls off from the highway and onto the side of the road.  The rain is still pouring down heavily.  It makes a pitter patter sound on the top of the steel roof and the windows of Dean's Impala.

Dean turns the engine off.  He rubs his hands slowly in a thoughtful manner.  Cas's hand still remains on Dean's thigh.  His blue eyes scan Dean's freckled face. He's not sure what to expect, perhaps he went too far this time.  Dean never really likes talking about what he actually does.  Sure they've done research on the club and who Yellow-Eyes was, but the killing was always separate.  It was a subject they never touched.  Not since Cas killed Lehne. 

Dean looks over to where Cas is sitting.  God, Dean has to fight the urge to not groan just from looking at him.  Cas must be part angel or something because he's too godlike compared to other human beings.  Cas's piercing blue eyes stay fixed on to Dean.  Dean lets out a strained breath.  He runs his hands down his face before speaking.

"What are we doing here Cas?"  He asks the dark haired man sitting next to him.

Cas tilts his head in a confused puppy-like manner, "What do you mean?" He asks.

"What are you doing with me?"  Dean asks.

Cas's eyebrows knit closely together and a frown falls upon his beautiful angelic face. 

Dean rolls his eyes, unable to look at Cas anymore in fear that he might just pull Cas roughly by the collar of his shirt and kiss him hard and passionately.  No, no, no.  Dean cannot get a boner.  Not right now.  This is serious.

"Why did you stay after we killed Lehne?  Why do you like me?  I'm just as bad as the people I kill.  I've got a darkness in me just like the rest of them."  Dean says, unable to shut his mouth. 

Cas's mouth is a gap.  He licks his lips absentmindedly before turning his gaze from Dean, "I... I've thought about this long and hard," he says, "I thought I was only acting this way because of the fact that you saved me, but the more I've thought about it the more I realize that my feelings are more than just gratitude..." He looks at Dean again, he then looks down at his hand and how it's remained on Dean's lap this whole time.

"I see light in you Dean Winchester," Cas says, "I see bad too, I've seen it first hand, but I've seen the good in you too."

"Cas-"

"No please, please just let me talk." Cas interrupts.  Dean sighs, he slumps his shoulders and lets Cas continue.

"I could go home,"  Cas admits, "I could go back to my brother and sister, back to my work, back to my old boring life, but I don't want to."

"Cas you have to let your family know you're okay."

"I don't want to,"  Cas replies, "I want to make sure that the rest of the _fuckers_ that did this to me, to those innocent people, pay for what they did."

"Dean you've awoken something in me, something I was missing before all of this," Cas says, "and I'm eternally grateful for it, I'm grateful for you, and I'm grateful that you like kissing me just as much as I like kissing you, and I'm grateful that you haven't removed my hand from your lap."

Dean bites his lower lip lazily.  "True, but that's besides the point.  I'm not good enough for you... I'm not good enough for anybody."  Dean says.

He bows his head in shame and begins to shake it as he internally argues with himself.  Cas remains silent.  He watches as the beautiful man in front him tries to hide from himself and Cas.   _'Fuck it,'_ Cas thinks to himself.  In one swift movement he leans forward with his arms stretched out and pushes Dean that positions him leaning on the heavy door with his torso facing Cas.  Dean gives Cas a bewildered look but doesn't fight Cas as he straddles Dean and brings their hands to Dean's face. 

God what a thrill this gave Dean every time it happens.  Cas's somewhat chapped lips.  His plump lips.  Dean feels his hands reach to hold Cas closer to him.  Dean hikes his hips up and Cas lets out a deep, throaty moan as Dean's hard on rubs against his own erection.  It makes Cas let out a throaty moan which Dean swallows up as he continues to kiss Cas back.  Dean's tongue begs for entrance as it desperately pushes against Cas's mouth, Cas can do nothing but oblige, he parts his lips and Dean's tongue dives in hungrily as he deepens their Cas.  These two have never felt passion like this.  Dean thought his late night rendezvous with Benny were hot and steamy but they were nothing compared to what he felt for Cas.  This is ancient and primal.  Something animalistic and natural to Dean.  It was like breathing.  It just feels natural to be this close to Cas, this intimate.  Cas feels the same way.  For someone who has been inexperienced in the art of intimacy, he's quite surprised how eager he's willing to jump Dean's bones.  Being this close to Dean just feels so right.  It's not just physical.  They have a real connection.  He wasn't sure if he felt it that first night, the night Dean saved him, but after Cas killed Lehne he knew that what they have is a bond, a bond stronger than most would experience or get to experience.  Fuck being a victim, fuck killing people, fuck existing anywhere but here and now.  All Cas wants is to have Dean this close to him for the rest of his life. 

"Cas," Dean pants in between the hungry kisses the two are exchanging, "is it okay if we... I mean we can stop here if you want, I- I just... shit, is it okay if I touch you?" Dean asks him, his freckled cheeks going slightly pink.

Cas's breath stops short.  Consent.  Dean is asking for consent.  Even in the heat of things, Dean remembers what Cas has gone through, even when Dean is this aroused he's still asking Cas for consent.  Cas can feels tears trying to form around his eyes.  Dean Winchester, in spite of everything he deems unworthy is probably the most noble person Cas has every met, even in his own twisted, dark way.  Dean Winchester is a fucking prince.

Cas knows for sure that he's in love with Dean Winchester.

Cas leans down and crashes his lips against Dean's.  This time it's Cas's hips that rut against Dean's, causing the blonde male to moan in ecstasy.

"Jesus I'm gonna cum in my pants from kissing you like this."  Dean comments.

His vulgar comment on feeds Cas's arousing appetite.

"Dean,"  Cas says in a shaky, somewhat raspy voice, Dean looks up into Cas's eyes, Cas can't help but smile, "can I touch you?" He asks.

Dean nods in response.  Cas places his hand on Dean's left thigh and begins to run it up until he's brushing over Dean's crotch, which causes Dean to moan and jump in excitement.  "FUCK!" Dean gasps, rutting his hips up again, "Sorry that just felt really good, oh fuck Cas, I don't think I've ever wanted someone as badly as I've wanted you." Dean exclaims, reaching up to Cas and caressing his cheek fondly.

This time Cas is blushing, and it causes Dean to grin smugly, "You're something else." Dean says, admiring the dark haired man.

Cas takes that as a confirmation to do it, except this time he unbutton's Dean's jeans and zips them open.  He can see a dark spot on the top of Dean's boxer, Cas can smell how aroused Dean is and it makes his mouth water.  "Fuck."  Cas says breathlessly.

"When you talk dirty like that it just gets me harder Cas." Dean moans, tilting his head back.

Cas feels like he's done enough teasing.  Although Cas's first sexual experience wasn't pleasant it doesn't stop him from wanting to touch Dean.  He knows that with Dean he's safe, that he's not being used as some toy or a thing.  Dean treats him with respect and love and gratitude.  Cas's past is nothing more but the past, and he'd be damned if it stopped him from enjoying this night.  He grabs hold of Dean's erection with a shaky hand and begins to massage it.

"Are you okay Cas?" Dean asks, his eyes focused on Cas's face and not what he's doing with his hand.

Cas nods, "I want to do this Dean."

"We can stop, or I can do it, believe me I definitely want to." Dean replies.

Cas looks back at Dean and gives him a chaste kiss, "I will not let the actions of others who have inflicted pain cause me to be afraid of getting close to someone again, if I did then they would win, and besides I've wanted to do this for a long time now Dean, I'm not just doing this for your benefit." Cas comments.

Dean lets out an involuntary moan since Cas is still stroking him, "I wish we had met in better circumstances." Dean comments.

Cas doesn't take that comment offensively, instead he smiles and gives Dean a few more good strokes which causes Dean to curse under his breath.  Cas chuckles, "You've awoken something in me, something I've never felt with anyone else, and I honestly think it's because of how we met."

Dean bites his lower lip causing it to be raw and tender.

"Now Dean if you don't mind, I'd like to finish what I started." Cas says, his mouth coming in close contact with Dean's cock, Cas's hot breath causes Dean to gasp, his shaft is so sensitive now, Cas only chuckles again before running his tongue from Dean's balls, up his shaft and to the tip.  More obscene remarks come out of Dean's mouth in pants.  Cas swirls his tongue around the tip and then takes Dean's member in his mouth.

"JESUS H CHRIST!" Dean exclaims, his right hand reaches for the handle bar that is up on the ceiling while his left hand reaches for Cas's hair.  He can't help but grab a fistful of Cas's untidy dark hair as Cas sucks him off.

"God, I- I can't take this."  Dean says, he gently pulls Cas off his him.

Cas in his state of euphoria and confusion doesn't understand what Dean mean.  Did he do something wrong?  Dean kisses Cas tenderly before speaking again.

"We're heading back home now." Dean says and kisses Cas again.

Cas doesn't understand.  As Dean fixes himself up and turns to the key to start up his Baby, Cas is mulling over what just happened in the last five minutes.

"Cas?" Dean calls out, he gently turns Cas's chin so he's facing him, "I'm not punishing you or anything, you did nothing wrong, I just... I want to please you and make you feel just as good as you make me feel." Dean says, "If that's alright with you." He adds.

Cas nods.  He lets out a shaky laugh and lets out all the horrible feelings he was starting to get.

-

It's a miracle they make it out of the car.  As soon as Dean turns the key, he's on Cas like Cas is food and Dean hasn't eaten in days.  The two manage to get out of the car and to the front door still entangled in each other.  Dean's hands running up and down Cas's body, reaching for any part of exposed skin he can get at.  Cas is busy taking of the layers of clothing Dean seems to wear constantly.  Why Dean insists on wearing a shirt, flannel and a jacket is beyond Cas's understanding.  "Too many clothes." Cas comments, his voice is deeper than its been in a while.  Dean chuckles and helps him take his jacket off as they enter the house.  

Clothes are flying off left and right, the two make their up the stairs and into Dean's bedroom which Cas has taken to sharing since he's been here.  The two are finally shirtless and Dean can't help but run his hands up and down Cas's bare chest.  Dean's chest swells with pride as he sees Cas's body looking healthier than when he first got here.  The scars on his body are beginning to fade in to thin slivers of light pink flesh.

"Please stop looking at me like that." Cas says, blushing hard.

Dean smiles and begins to kiss Cas's chest, "Shut up Cas, you're beautiful." Dean comments.

Cas moans and withers with each kiss Dean plants on his body.

"So beautiful." Dean breathes as he kisses his way up to Cas's neck.  Dean gently nibbles the sensitive skin before leading the two of them to edge of Dean's bed.

"Just relax Cas, I've got you, I'm not going anywhere." Dean says as he kisses every spot he can on Cas's body.

Cas shivers in delight.  He's not sure he's ever felt this excited before. 

"Dean?" Cas calls out.

"Hmm?"

Cas bites his lip, "I- I think I'm falling for you." He says, he turns his head away so Dean doesn't see how embarrassed he is.

Dean once again turns Cas's chin so they're facing each other.  Cas's blue eyes are so full of worry.  He feels giant butterflies in his stomach.  He's pretty sure he has to vomit.  Oh why did he have to say such a stupid thing.

"I'm falling for you too, man." Dean says.

Dean leans in a kisses Cas.  Cas wraps his arms around Dean, keeping the bare chested man close to him.  Their skin flush and sensitive.  Dean grabs hold of Cas's black slacks and unbuttons them.  He takes them and Cas's boxers off in one swift move.  Cas kicks off his socks.  He's bare and exposed in front of Dean.  Just like the first time they met.  Except he's not scared.  He's excited.  He's happy.  Dean basically just told him he loves him too.  Dean eyes Cas's member with those dazzling green eyes.  Dean takes his jeans and boxers off, his own member spring up in it's release.  Dean milks himself a bit, biting his lower lip as he does so.  Cas is trying to take as many mental pictures as he can so he can always remember what a gorgeous sight Dean truly is.

"God you should see how breathtaking you look while you're watching me Cas." Dean comments as he walks over to Cas who is laying on the bed, his legs slightly apart.

Cas lets out a breathy chuckle, "I could say the same about you." Cas comments.

Dean smiles, he gets on his knees and kiss Cas one more time bringing their naked bodies close together, "I wanna make you feel good Cas." Dean says.

Before Cas can ask what he's gonna do, Dean grabs Cas's member and begins to stroke him.  Cas hangs his head back, his hands grab fistfuls of the comforter on the bed.  Dean gives Cas a few more good strokes before wrapping his tongue up and down Cas's hard erection.  Cas never knew how good this could feel.  He never wants anyone but Dean to touch him, but right now it feels like Cas's body is going to explode from how good Dean is touching him, so he's not too sure which is worse.

"You like that Baby?" Dean asks, releasing Cas's member from his mouth with a satisfying  _'POP!'_ sound.

Cas can only nod in silence.  Dean chuckles.  He lifts Cas legs and puts each thigh one of his shoulders.  "I wonder if you'll enjoy this too then."  Dean says.

Cas is still coming down from his high when he feels some wet and warm at the entrance of his hole.  Cas bucks his hips in the air but it doesn't deter Dean from doing what he wants.  Cas finds Dean's head of hair and grabs hold of his head encouraging him to continue.  Dean gently pushes his tongue in and around Cas's hole, making sure he's going at Cas's pace.  Cas moans as confirmation to continue.  Cas has never felt this good.  He never knew he could, but he's so grateful he's experiencing this with Dean.  He feels brand new with the guy.  Cas loosens up under Dean's slow touch, Dean raises his head and looks up and down Cas's flush, sweaty, panting body.

"Is it okay if I try with a finger now?" Dean asks.

"Stop being so damn polite Winchester and just do it!" Cas hisses impatiently.

Dean chuckles, "Whatever you say Baby."

Cas leans his head back against the mattress, waiting in anticipation for Dean to touch him again.  Cas's legs are still wrapped around Dean's shoulders, but this time Dean is hold Cas's torso down against the mattress.  Dean fumbles through his nightstand drawer as he looks for lube,  luckily he grabs it the first time and begins to lube up his  fingers before going back to Cas's sensitive spot.  Dean looks up at Cas again, silently asking for permission.  Cas glares back at him, the undeniable hunger in his eyes.  Dean chuckles again and slowly pushes his index finger past the first ring.  Cas arches his back or tries to anyway since Dean is basically pinning him to the bed with his one hand.  Cas is a panting mess and they've only just begun.  Dean sinks his finger going past the second and third ring, he stays there and lets Cas against to the new sensation.  Cas moves his hips slightly giving Dean the okay to continue what he's doing.  Dean is just as much of a mess if not more than Cas.  He never thought that in a million years this beautiful man would let him touch like this, let alone tell him he's in love with him yet there they are.  Dean is in pure bliss watching Cas moan and wither like that.  It gets him hard just knowing how turned on Cas is from Dean.  Dean feels like he's really achieved something:  He's making Cas happy, and that's all he wants to do... right now anyways.  There are a lot of other things (less erotic things) Dean thinks about doing with Cas, but those can wait for later.

"Deeeean!" Cas whines.

"Don't worry Baby I won't stop until you want me to." Dean replies.

Dean slowly inserts another digit into Cas's sweet hole and soon Cas is bucking his hips up in a constant rhythm, "More Dean, I need more."  Cas whines.

Dean is enchanted by the filthy mess Cas is.  His hair is crazier than usual.  His eyes are almost closed.  His pupils... his pupils are so dilated they almost look black.  Predatory even.  It really turns Dean on.  Soon Dean insert a third digit and soon enough he's scissoring Cas into a withering hot mess on the bed.

"Oh! DEAN! Oh!" Cas moans.

Dean lets go of Cas's torso and begins to stroke himself again.  He can't help it. Watching Cas like this is such a beautiful sight.

"Yeah Baby?" Dean asks, his mouth feels dry, his voice feels raw.

"Need more.  Need you." Cas pants, hes looking down at Dean with those blue/black eyes of his.

Dean pulls his fingers out of Cas, causing the man to whimper as he feels empty.  Dean opens the nightstand next to him and pulls out a condom which he immediately opens, "Are you ready Cas?" Dean asks as he rolls the condom onto his member.

Cas nods eagerly, re positioning himself on the bed as he does so.  The bed groans under both of the mens' weight and Cas spreads his legs so Dean is in between him.  Dean caresses Cas cheek and kisses him again.  It's a sweet, innocent kiss compared to what they've been doing.

"Thank you." Dean says.

"For what?" Cas asks.

Dean blushes, "For trusting me, for sharing yourself with me in this way."

"Stop being so sappy Winchester and just fuck me please." Cas says, his cheeks are redder than his freckle-faced lover.

Dean smiles down at Cas.  He positions himself so he's at Cas's entrance. "You ready?" Dean asks him.

Cas rolls his eyes, "You stalling?" He asks rhetorically.

Dean gives Cas one more kiss and slowly sinks himself into Cas.  Cas's mouth forms into a nice O shape as Dean buries himself deep into Cas.

"FUCK!" They yell in unison.

"God you're so fucking tight Cas, holy shit baby you're amazing!" Dean exclaims, his body is hovering over Cas.

Cas is adjusting to Dean.  It hurt a little bit at first but Cas is comfortable for Dean to move.  He doesn't say anything but he puts his hands on Dean's firm, bare ass and presses him close to his body.  Dean gets the gist of things and slowly pulls out and buries himself inside Cas again.  They moan and pant in unison.  Both men in pure ecstasy as Dean fucks Cas into next week.  Cas claws at Dean's back and wraps his legs around Dean waist as Dean gets a steady rhythm going between the two of them.  Dean lets out quiet doses of obscenities as he makes love to the man under him.  Every time Cas claws his back it only eggs him on.  Dean reaches between the two and begins stroking Cas's cock in his hands. 

"Oh my GOD!" Cas exclaims, throwing his head back.

Dean feels his orgasm rising.  He loves watching Cas's body practically vibrating.  He must be close to.  Dean wants to make sure he watches Cas's O face when he reaches his orgasm.  He's scold himself if he'd miss such a beautiful sight. 

"I love you Cas." Dean pants as he pumps his hips hard and faster as well as stroking Cas vigorously, "Oh fuck, I love you so much Baby." Dean practically yells tilting his head back.

"I love you Dean." Cas moans in response.

"Come for me Baby, please!" Dean begs.

Cas's blue eyes shut tight as he erupts all over Dean hand, yelling his name in the process. Dean's grateful he got to see Cas's face as he came and is soon coming himself.  He chants Cas's name like a mantra and plants kisses all over Cas's chest and torso not even worried if he gets a little bit of Cas's juices on his lips.  In fact, he feels a bit on his lower lip and licks it off eagerly with his tongue.

"God that was hot." Cas comments as he watches Dean lick up his mess, "If I didn't just come really hard I probably would have come again just from watching that." Cas pants.

"That was amazing." Dean comments. 

Dean pulls the condom off and throws it in the trash.  He then tells Cas to lie down and heads into the bathroom to grab and rag.  He comes back and cleans Cas off and them himself.  He grabs a pair of boxers and tosses another pair in Cas's direction who grabs it and gets somewhat dresses as the two men throw the comforter off and get under the covers.

"Best date night I've ever had." Dean comments as he settles in.

Cas lets out a throaty laugh and its the most goddamn beautiful sound Dean has ever heard.  He wraps his arms around Cas and nuzzles himself into Cas's neck as they spoon in the bed.

"You said you love you." Cas comments.

Dean smiles against Cas's neck, "I do, and if I do recall you said you love me back." Dean says teasingly.

Cas smiles and turns to plant a kiss on Dean's lips, "I do love you." He comments.

"You sure tuckered me out." Dean adds as he settles in again.

Cas chuckles.  He scoots closer to Dean, if that's even possible since they're pretty close as it is.

"Goodnight Dean." Cas says as his eyelids grow heavy and his breathing slows.

"Goodnight Cas." Dean replies and buries his head into the nook of Cas's neck.

-

Dean wakes up to the smell of bacon frying and coffee.

He opens is eyes and is surprised to find Cas still asleep in his arms.

Last night comes back to him and he can't help the goofy smile that is sure to be plastered on his face all day, probably all week.

But wait...

If Cas is here.

And Bobby said he'd be at Ellen all weekend.

Dean quietly gets up from the bed, making sure Cas stays asleep. he pulls out his Colt M1911A1 from where his keeps it and heads downstairs but not before giving Cas a kiss on the forehead and securing his bedroom door.  He tip toes down the stairs, making sure not a step on the one step that creeks and heads toward the kitchen.  

Who the hell is in his kitchen?

The doors are closed.  Odd.  He's pretty sure he never closes them unless he wants to surprise Cas with dinner, but last night they ate take out (Cas's request) and he's sure he left the sliding doors open.  Dean takes hold of one of the handles and opens the door.

"WHO THE HE-"

"BRO, DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!"

Dean lowers his gun, put the safety back on, "Sammy?"  Dean asks.

Sam Winchester, all six foot and gigantor of him is standing awkwardly in Bobby's kitchen with a pot of freshly brewed coffee and eggs and bacon cooking on the stove.

"Surprise?" Sam asks gingerly, holding the coffee in reach of Dean like a peace offering.

"Dude, what are you doing here." Dean asks as he places the gun on the table and hugs his brother.

Sam makes sure the hot coffee pot doesn't touch his brother as he hugs him back.

"I have a break from school and I'd thought I'd come back home." Sam says.

Dean is practically beaming up at his tall, awkward brother, although he's not so awkward looking now.  Sam Winchester was starting to look less dorky and more like, well a good mixture of their mom and dad. 

"When did you get in?" Dean asks.

Sam averts his gaze from Dean when he asks that question, "Uhh, ehehe, last night." Sam says, blushing so hard his whole face looks red.

Dean chuckles as his brother's awkward response and then the realization of why dawns on him. "Shit." Dean says and beings to laugh so hard his knees almost buckle.

"Shut up Dean, I was gonna say hi but you... you were... busy." Sam says.

The taller brother turns away from his howling brother and continues to busy himself with breakfast.  His face is still bright red while Dean is leaning on one of the kitchen chairs.

"I hate you." Sam says, but there's no malice in his voice.

"Oh, oh man, I am so sorry Sammy." Dean says slapping his little brother on the back.

"Not as sorry as I am." Sam remarks.  

He grabs three plates and sets them on the table before going to the frying pan and grabbing a spatula to place the eggs and bacon on all three plates.

"So whose the lucky guy?" Sam asks.

"Um that would be me." Says a deep, raspy voice from behind the two.

Dean turns around and finds a sleepy Cas in his dark gray robe.

Sam smiles from ear to ear and goes over to give Cas a bear hug.

"Hi I'm Sammy, Dean's younger brother."

"Castiel." Cas replies as he returns the hug.

Dean can't help but think how cute Cas looks compared to Paul Bunyan standing right next to him.  He walks toward Cas and places a sweet kiss on Cas's cheek.

"Well, now that we've been properly introduced how about some breakfast?" Sam asks as he points his attention toward the delicious breakfast he's set out for the three of them.

Dean and Cas sit next to each other, while Sam sits on Dean's side.

"Uh Sam I'm really sorry abou-"

Sam raises his hand, waving away Cas's unnecessary apology, "Don't worry about it dude, I'm glad I finally got to meet you." Sam replies before digging into his breakfast.

Dean takes a few bites of bacon and a few forkfulls of scrambled egg before turning his attention to Sam.

"Sammy, your break isn't for another month so why are you really here?" Dean asks him.

Cas stops eating his meal and takes a sip of his orange juice that Sam had placed for each of them on the table.  Sam looks up at Dean with that puppy dog looks he does when he knows he's been caught in lie.  But this time it won't work on Dean... okay so it still has some effect but not enough to deter Dean from his question.  Dean waits patiently for an answer, not touching his food until Sam gives him an explanation.  Sam sighs and wipes his mouth before speaking.

"A girl at my school has gone missing... and they're saying it's like those other cases you asked me to look into." Sam says.

Cas feels his heart sink.  Dean reaches for his hand and entwines their fingers. 

"The police are saying this?" Dean asks Sam.

Sam sighs and rolls his eyes, "No, she disappeared over the weekend, they think she just went to Cancun or something to get out of school, but I think she's connected to that club you mentioned before, I did some digging and it turns out that some murders and disappears have been linked, she could be out there Sean, no one is sure what is going on with her but I feel like she's in really trouble." Sam says.

Dean sighs, "Do you have any leads?"

Sam scoffs, "Why do you think I'm here?"

"YOU WERE GOING TO GO ON YOUR OWN AND TRY AND FIND HER?!" Dean snaps.

"Dean." Cas says, shocked at Dean's outburst.

"Of course not, I'm not a fucking idiot, but she's here... I can... I can feel it and I need your help Dean. Please." Sam begs.

Dean runs his free hand down his face.  His other hand has not let go of Cas's and Cas is quite grateful he hasn't.  Another missing girl? Jesus, when they killed Lehne, they knew this was just the beginning, but for it to happen so soon after everything... Cas shuts his eyes momentarily before speaking.

"We'll help you." Cas says.

"You will?" Sam asks, looking from Cas to Dean.

"Yeah, yeah of course we're gonna help you." Dean remarks.

Sam smiles and lets out a sigh of relief, "Thank you.  Thank you so much Dean."

"I know I'm asking a lot from you, especially since I just met you Castiel but I need to find her." Sam adds.

"Yeah yeah, look stop apologizing we said we'd help, I know a few people in the police force let me see if I can get anything." Dean says waving his head lazily toward his brother.

Sam send satisfied with that answer and continues to eat his breakfast.  Dean feels a pot in his stomach.  He should have never involved Sammy in the first place.  What if he found out what Dean had been doing.  He knows Sammy is smart enough to figure things out.  He looks at Cas who is eating his breakfast quietly.  He looks so calm but from the way he's slowly chewing his food he knows something is wrong.  Dean will have to ask Cas about that later. For now he was going to help Sam with this as much as possible without Sammy knowing just who exactly his older brother is. 

"So whats the girl's name?" Cas asks Sam.

"Jessica," Sam says, "Jessica Moore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay i hope you enjoyed this chapter. sorry this update took forever. Im off to bed now. Thanks for reading!
> 
> also this was my first time writing smut, please let know if terrible. I really tried. I'm sorry.


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